(Intense Cackling)

 


Due to hearing loss from listening to Baba O'Riley at 120 decibels (jet screaming) and working with CNC machines, I don't even bother listening to a movie on the tv anymore because the volume would be too high and I still wouldn't be able to comprehend human voices, so I just use closed captioning and read lips. I watched a movie yesterday that had me laughing, although comedy wasn't its intention. The title is, 'Night of Blood,' starring Corey Taylor from the band, Slipknot. I tried to find out where this gem was filmed because it has a foreign feel to it, like it was filmed in Poland or the Czech Republic. Everything is crumbling and gross. No offense, Poland and CR, but you have to admit there's a creep factor, which is why filmmakers like to make scary movies there, plus it's probably cheaper and this movie is really low budget (I believe they may have borrowed one of Corey's Slipknot masks to disguise the killer) The plot is this 🫴 Six people must stay inside a haunted hotel overnight to win a million dollars. Corey is an assistant or something at the hotel. He's a smart ass, but he's not the worst character. Everyone in this movie is extremely unlikeable. I was hoping they all die after I was five minutes into it. It's the usual cut and paste plot, but I was happily rewarded by using closed captioning. I've never been more entertained by a really bad movie due to the writer's (click clacking) devoted dedication of finding just the right description, which was so (blogger giggling) constant, one zinger after the other. In fact, there were more descriptors than actual dialogue. 

Here are a few zingers...

(rope creaking) ? I regret I didn't turn on the sound to hear this rope creaking. There was a lot of creaking throughout the movie.

(antenna clanks) After a man shuts off a satellite phone.

(shoes clacking)

(feet pattering)

(zipper whizzing)

(cork squeaking) 

And some descriptors for music...

Solemn

Eerie

Dramatic 

Brooding

Pensive

I did turn on the sound to listen and decide for myself whether they were overselling it. There seemed to be a drum banging. That was it. I'm thinking Taylor had something to do with the music. 

Here's a few more descriptors because they just never ended...

(cigarette crackling) My favorite.

(blood sloshing)

(bearing clinking)

(pencil rasping)

(door clattering)

The best line was from a lesbian who calls one of the males a "tedious fuck." Though not a verb, it was enlightening. If you like lesbians going at it, this is your movie. There's not a lot of gore, just puddles of blood and one beheading. I'm not sure why these people thought they were going to get a million bucks when they didn't even have silverware in the kitchen or a nice towel in the bathroom. One woman resorted to using a plunger as a weapon. 

I enjoyed the closed captioning because I am familiar with the sound of squelching, sloshing, clicking and clacking. A deaf person has no idea what a cigarette sounds like when inhaled. I don't recall crackling, though. The writer certainly had his work cut out for him. It's hard coming up with decent action word. I suffer (brain freezing) finding the best descriptions, myself. Although, if this is closed captioning, perhaps some jester who wasn't  even involved with the movie decided to have some fun. I'm not sure who provides CC. Well, kudos, anyway. I'm trying to imagine (brain whirring) how absolutely terrible this movie would be without the descriptors. 

I don't recommend the movie unless you want to see some big boobed lesbians running around (lips smacking) as the killer (heavy breathing) uses the only useful utensil in the house. 

Now I'm going to make dinner (bread squishing) have a glass of wine (sangria sloshing) and read a book (pages rustling) Then I'll go to bed (mattress creaking) and try to sleep (teeth rattling)

The End

Comments

Berthold Gambrel said…
I don't like horror movies where women are sexualized and harmed. Sounds like I should skip this one. :)
November 1, 2026 at 9:04 AM
Maggie said…
I agree. Normally the second some woman takes off her top, I turn it off. I don't watch movies that victimize children or animals either. Kind of limits my viewing, but ok. In this movie I didn't care regarding the nudity because I found everyone so ick, I guess it didn't bother me. Plus , it's what you would do at a hotel.
November 1, 2026 at 10:22 AM
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