Posts

Lying With Dogs

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  When my coworker Doris, decided to say yes to marrying her long time boyfriend she had set some ground rules before the nuptials, and even though Doris was a psychopath she was smart enough to let her future husband know where they stood. One- no dogs. This was good because I reiterate, Doris was nuts. She also refused to have a canoe as their bed. Again, smart. But sometimes y'all don't listen and think you can change a person's mind. Sometimes you can. Sometimes you wear them down so much it's not worth the fight.  I bring this up because I saw another problem for an advice columnist, this one about a dog. The female was adamant about NOT getting an animal. She claimed they were just too busy and even though she liked dogs she was not ready to get one. Her partner dismissed her objections and bought one anyway. As much as she has grown fond of the pup she feels resentment and rightfully so. She says she must be on her partner constantly to walk and feed the dog he w...

Numbers

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  Greg Lake was 12 when he wrote, 'Lucky Man.' A woman spent 9 days in her bathtub after falling back and injuring herself.  It is now 923 days until Trump is walked out of the White House. This recipe for Mole Negro has 30 ingredients. Puck, the parrot, learned 1,500 words. There are over 100,000 people per square mile in Manila, Philippines.  There are 7.8 people per square mile in Montana, US. Shaquille O'Neal wears a size 22 shoe. There are only 2 white rhinoceros alive. Both are female. The minimum wage in Georgia is $5.15. Pediatric surgeons make $246 per hour.  The longest someone held their breath without pre oxygen assistance* is 11 minutes, 35 seconds. An Australian millipede has 1,306 legs. If Elon Musk spent $1 million dollars per day it would take over 2 centuries to spend it. The shortest recorded marriage was 3 minutes.** It would take 5.9 million steps to walk from Manhattan to Beverly Hills, Ca.  You will survive for roughly 10 minutes in 140°F...

The Charmer

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  Whaaat? Ok, I don't listen to Trump because he makes me ill just looking at his pursed lips and hand movements. But- it's what comes out of his mouth that truly makes me heave, so I didn't realize he was a poet. Apparently his minions like to hear the tale of, 'The Snake.' Here it is 👇 Yeah, that's not the D H Lawrence poem, it's actually a song written by Al Wilson who I'm sure is turning in his grave for the way it's being used.  Oh who could Trump possibly mean to be the snake here? Commies, dumocrats, those cat and dog eating immigrants? Or, anyone who needs a helping hand most likely.  One- I'm shocked. I didn't know the orange man could read. Natalie must have picked this out for him.  The truly ironic bit to all of this is those people sitting behind him are farmers who take subsidies, working people who rely on SNAP food benefits, white collar business owners who get kickbacks and special favors from the government. Name me one per...

What We Can Learn From Lindsey

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  Not gonna lie- I was smiling when I read the news that Lindsey Graham died, "a brief and sudden  illness." Mere hours after his death, we learn he died from an aortic dissection. It's a truly painful way to go and some would say, an avoidable death. I've seen the comments from my fellow lefties. There is no sorrow following his demise. The only post I found that was somewhat kind was Adam Kinzinger's post where he noted they had been friends at one time, then Lindsey changed. Kinzinger admits they rarely agreed on issues, yet, some people can look beyond one aspect of a person's life. I never will understand that, especially knowing how very hard Graham fought to keep America white, Christian and straight, even though it is very likely he was a closeted gay. Y'all can rag on him, I don't have any issues with you calling him out because he did indeed go to the dark side.  Why? Denial and self hate come to mind. He grew up in the South in a traditional...

Soup Or A Stamp

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  When I was a fifth grader at the St. Joseph the Worker Detention Center, Sister Mother Mary Comestome, requested we find a pen pal from her approved list of school aged participants from around the world. I noticed a girl who lived in Korea was on the list and since my father fought beside them to fight the commies, I chose her. Shockingly, I never heard back from Joon. I'm not sure when I realized my faux pas. It didn't stop me from writing letters, however. When my bestie moved away during our first year in high school, we wrote back to each other for ten years, sharing our deepest thoughts and experiences. When I began, one stamp cost 8 cents. I usually nabbed a few from my parents who had a roll of stamps. I don't think Dad, who worked for the post office got a discount, but we always had a supply, plus, he was my conduit to sending off my letters. I must have had hundreds of letters saved. Writing letters was how we stayed in touch with family. My father wrote in his...

Mitchy A Go Go

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 I rarely pay attention to Reich wing blowhards so don't know much about Scott Jennings except he used to be a fat boy and his wife's name is Autumn Stiff. (((giggles))) Jennings is the guy who claims to have talked to Mitchell McConnell for twenty minutes, although Mitch can't pick up a phone and talk to any reporter for one lousy minute to let us know he's ok. Anyone hear from his wife who had to run off to Chiiina for some reason? But back to Jennings... what should be his punishment if he's lying? I'm trying to remain calm about this but I'm about to blow a gasket. It's not the explosive diarrhea because I'm avoiding healthy food. I eat Oreos and Bugles washed down with lashings of bourbon. This really pisses me off. First of all because I came up with the Schrodinger's cat image y'all have stole from me and second this former fat bastard with a wife named Stiff (((giggles))) might have lied and he won't get one minute in the time out...

Proof Aliens Exist

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  Well if this isn't proof I don't know what more I can do. A priest claims there is solid evidence in the Bible that extraterrestrials are God's children coming to make a call. I sure hope they brought pie. I like pie. Anyway, seems that line in the Bible about there being many rooms in the Lord's house is about aliens in God's universe and y'all shouldn't be coming to the conclusion they're demons. Just hold on with yer shotguns and pitchforks, folks, those could be our friendly neighbors.  Shoot, we have seen what happens to people who come a calling. Shoot is about right. Can you imagine if these fellas were green!? Pew, pew, pew!  Listen to J D, he says there ain't no thing as extraterrestrials, he says....uh, what? Uh, hold up a minute... He says, what, those UFOs in the sky are demons!? Laws, have mercy.  Why are some people so obsessed with things they've never seen? It's strange because most of them can walk over a homeless person as...