The True Story Of St. Paddy's Day
Faith and begorrah, why it's Saint Paddy's Day! A time when everyone is Irish and the streets are filled with yellow as the drunks piss in the streets after drinking Guinness at 10 in the morning. It is true, the dear Saint ran out the snakes and that's when the "troubles" began, because the snakes aerated the soil for potatoes to grow. Now, they were gone, snakes and potatoes, so there was no spuds to go along with the corned beef and cabbage. Times were tough. The lads sat in the pubs, drinking warm ale that tasted like spittle and worried their heads over the whole situation. Seamus: " 'Ow do we bring back the tater, Sean? Me woman wails all the day long fer the tuber. I tell her to quit her whinging but she won't have it. I canno' take eet anymore." Little did the wee people of Ireland know there were plenty of spuds but were kept hidden in a pot guarded by leprechauns. They had heard of a place called the Amazon where they could call up...