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Soup Or A Stamp

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  When I was a fifth grader at the St. Joseph the Worker Detention Center, Sister Mother Mary Comestome, requested we find a pen pal from her approved list of school aged participants from around the world. I noticed a girl who lived in Korea was on the list and since my father fought beside them to fight the commies, I chose her. Shockingly, I never heard back from Joon. I'm not sure when I realized my faux pas. It didn't stop me from writing letters, however. When my bestie moved away during our first year in high school, we wrote back to each other for ten years, sharing our deepest thoughts and experiences. When I began, one stamp cost 8 cents. I usually nabbed a few from my parents who had a roll of stamps. I don't think Dad, who worked for the post office got a discount, but we always had a supply, plus, he was my conduit to sending off my letters. I must have had hundreds of letters saved. Writing letters was how we stayed in touch with family. My father wrote in his...
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Mitchy A Go Go

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 I rarely pay attention to Reich wing blowhards so don't know much about Scott Jennings except he used to be a fat boy and his wife's name is Autumn Stiff. (((giggles))) Jennings is the guy who claims to have talked to Mitchell McConnell for twenty minutes, although Mitch can't pick up a phone and talk to any reporter for one lousy minute to let us know he's ok. Anyone hear from his wife who had to run off to Chiiina for some reason? But back to Jennings... what should be his punishment if he's lying? I'm trying to remain calm about this but I'm about to blow a gasket. It's not the explosive diarrhea because I'm avoiding healthy food. I eat Oreos and Bugles washed down with lashings of bourbon. This really pisses me off. First of all because I came up with the Schrodinger's cat image y'all have stole from me and second this former fat bastard with a wife named Stiff (((giggles))) might have lied and he won't get one minute in the time out...
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Proof Aliens Exist

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  Well if this isn't proof I don't know what more I can do. A priest claims there is solid evidence in the Bible that extraterrestrials are God's children coming to make a call. I sure hope they brought pie. I like pie. Anyway, seems that line in the Bible about there being many rooms in the Lord's house is about aliens in God's universe and y'all shouldn't be coming to the conclusion they're demons. Just hold on with yer shotguns and pitchforks, folks, those could be our friendly neighbors.  Shoot, we have seen what happens to people who come a calling. Shoot is about right. Can you imagine if these fellas were green!? Pew, pew, pew!  Listen to J D, he says there ain't no thing as extraterrestrials, he says....uh, what? Uh, hold up a minute... He says, what, those UFOs in the sky are demons!? Laws, have mercy.  Why are some people so obsessed with things they've never seen? It's strange because most of them can walk over a homeless person as...
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Cyclosporiasis- Not In The Odyssey

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  Oh dear, seems like the flatlanders are suffering from explosive diarrhea. Just stay downwind, neighbors. No one seems to know the exact source, what and where- but the usual suspects are mentioned- bagged salad, raspberries, blueberries. Seems to me in the past when something like this occured our government agencies could pinpoint the culprit faster than an explosive episode. I'd advise you to forego eating fruit and vegetables for the near future unless you want to be pooping in your pants at the most inopportune time. No time is good to be exploding crap out your backside, but to be safe stick to the carnivore diet. Of course we can't just live on meat even if our health secretary advises we do so.  So, what can you eat and not expect a volcanic eruption? Sugar, honey, yogurt, garlic and beans. Beans!!!? This is our new normal, kids. The government fired the inspectors. I'm guessing the people who picked the fields are sitting in cages somewhere in Amerikkka waiting t...
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Your Mama!

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  I just wrote a post about the robotaxi, Waymo, taking a short cut by driving through a construction zone, knocking over cones as the passengers begged it to stop. It finally did, when it felt like it.  Now Waymo is gonna be your mama, too. Apparently two fifteen year olds were in a Waymo driverless car and doing what teenage boys do- act like stupid teenage boys. They were drinking and had orbeez gun shooters. I'm not sure who they were shooting at but Waymo had had enough and took over as driver and parent. The doors were locked and Waymo drove the miscreants to a police station.  Those kids thought they were gonna pull a fast one. I'm not sure how they were allowed to get in one as minors. Maybe it's not a thing, but they certainly planned on a fun night, sans parents, only to be turned in by a bot.  Parents everywhere will now be transporting their children with Waymo. I think some might be pissed that any authority will intervene, but it's hard raising teenage...
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"You Can't Handle The Truth!"*

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  This is a sad story regarding an incident that could have been completely avoided. An elderly woman walks into a restaurant and starts complaining about her order. There is video of the altercation between the woman and the staff. She apparently isn't satisfied with their response, so she shoves an employee, pulls hair, then is forcefully told to leave. She then has a heart attack and dies in transport to the hospital. Her daughter blames the employees. The medical examiner states the woman had a bad heart and the condition was exacerbated by the scuffle, an unfortunate incident she instigated.  I understand when relatives are in disbelief and try to find another answer to what transpired. In this case her family claim the restaurant edited the video. It's clear the woman was the aggressor. The restaurant lost money because they had to shut down for three weeks. No one here is a winner. I'm seeing this pattern all too often lately where there is clear evidence of wrong do...
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Pics Of Dics

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  I am thoroughly confused. Confused about so many things but right now scratching my head over this one. We knew who Graham Platner was the day he declared his intentions to be Democratic Senator of Maine. A few little blips and blurbs were mentioned on social media. His own wife told his staff he was sending explicit sex messages to other women. He had a totenkopf tattoo he claims he had no idea was connected with the Nazi regime. Yet none of this is cause enough for outrage. Is it normal then? Are men regularly sending out graphic texts as the new one liner? "Hey babe, what's your sign? Look at my penis." But now a woman has come forward and claimed Platner raped her. Hoowah, look at everyone on him like flies on shit.  Let's give him the benefit of the doubt because there's still the presumption of innocence, right? The timing is rather interesting that she comes forward now. Hell, the guy could be a target of fallacious accusations. Maybe he didn't know h...
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