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Cyclosporiasis- Not In The Odyssey

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  Oh dear, seems like the flatlanders are suffering from explosive diarrhea. Just stay downwind, neighbors. No one seems to know the exact source, what and where- but the usual suspects are mentioned- bagged salad, raspberries, blueberries. Seems to me in the past when something like this occured our government agencies could pinpoint the culprit faster than an explosive episode. I'd advise you to forego eating fruit and vegetables for the near future unless you want to be pooping in your pants at the most inopportune time. No time is good to be exploding crap out your backside, but to be safe stick to the carnivore diet. Of course we can't just live on meat even if our health secretary advises we do so.  So, what can you eat and not expect a volcanic eruption? Sugar, honey, yogurt, garlic and beans. Beans!!!? This is our new normal, kids. The government fired the inspectors. I'm guessing the people who picked the fields are sitting in cages somewhere in Amerikkka waiting t...
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Your Mama!

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  I just wrote a post about the robotaxi, Waymo, taking a short cut by driving through a construction zone, knocking over cones as the passengers begged it to stop. It finally did, when it felt like it.  Now Waymo is gonna be your mama, too. Apparently two fifteen year olds were in a Waymo driverless car and doing what teenage boys do- act like stupid teenage boys. They were drinking and had orbeez gun shooters. I'm not sure who they were shooting at but Waymo had had enough and took over as driver and parent. The doors were locked and Waymo drove the miscreants to a police station.  Those kids thought they were gonna pull a fast one. I'm not sure how they were allowed to get in one as minors. Maybe it's not a thing, but they certainly planned on a fun night, sans parents, only to be turned in by a bot.  Parents everywhere will now be transporting their children with Waymo. I think some might be pissed that any authority will intervene, but it's hard raising teenage...
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"You Can't Handle The Truth!"*

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  This is a sad story regarding an incident that could have been completely avoided. An elderly woman walks into a restaurant and starts complaining about her order. There is video of the altercation between the woman and the staff. She apparently isn't satisfied with their response, so she shoves an employee, pulls hair, then is forcefully told to leave. She then has a heart attack and dies in transport to the hospital. Her daughter blames the employees. The medical examiner states the woman had a bad heart and the condition was exacerbated by the scuffle, an unfortunate incident she instigated.  I understand when relatives are in disbelief and try to find another answer to what transpired. In this case her family claim the restaurant edited the video. It's clear the woman was the aggressor. The restaurant lost money because they had to shut down for three weeks. No one here is a winner. I'm seeing this pattern all too often lately where there is clear evidence of wrong do...
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Pics Of Dics

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  I am thoroughly confused. Confused about so many things but right now scratching my head over this one. We knew who Graham Platner was the day he declared his intentions to be Democratic Senator of Maine. A few little blips and blurbs were mentioned on social media. His own wife told his staff he was sending explicit sex messages to other women. He had a totenkopf tattoo he claims he had no idea was connected with the Nazi regime. Yet none of this is cause enough for outrage. Is it normal then? Are men regularly sending out graphic texts as the new one liner? "Hey babe, what's your sign? Look at my penis." But now a woman has come forward and claimed Platner raped her. Hoowah, look at everyone on him like flies on shit.  Let's give him the benefit of the doubt because there's still the presumption of innocence, right? The timing is rather interesting that she comes forward now. Hell, the guy could be a target of fallacious accusations. Maybe he didn't know h...
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The Curse

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 "Belgium, it's a terrible country. Chocolate, that's all they have. Waffles. They cheated, they cheat all the time. Our boys should have won. I even had a talk with Johnny about bringing in Fabuloso. Sadly, Farquhar will have to go. He's Un-American and reminds be of Belgium chocolate. I don't like chocolate. I like those chewy squares that get stuck in my dentures. I tell Natalie, sometimes I call her, Natalie, bring me some starburst and French fries. Gonna mix em up. Even after I talked to Johnny who said the fix was in, the boys lost. Belgium cheated that's all I can say. What? Who? Mitch? He's fine, he's just taking a break, I don't wanna talk about him. I barely know him. We met once. Looks like a turtle. His hand was slimy. Giorgia Meloni has a crush on me. You saw the picture. She wants me. No, no, I told her not to look at me directly. She wants me bad. Kind of looks like Ivanka. She's hot, she's really hot for me. Anyway, we'r...
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Friends In Fuhrer's Ass

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  Folarin Balogun. That's the name that gets you arrested and deported to a country you've never been before.  I have been following the futbol shenanigans involuntarily. It's in my face, like a pesky fly who won't go away. But, sports is a good thing. I'm into baseball, myself, although I have been quite disenchanted with the ball players and their love for Trump. The sporting world is an alpha world. I don't know why people are shocked when a women's team is overshadowed by the men. As James Brown would sing, "It's a maaaaaaan's world..." At least when it comes to sports. I know nothing about futbol, we used to call it soccer here, because we're special. People run around kicking a ball and cannot use their hands. I have nothing against the sport itself. It looks like fun and doesn't involve future brain damage. I like that. The current games should have been a way for the world to have fun, respect each other and leave the ugline...
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Neil The Seal

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  Neil the seal is an asshole.  He's a five year old elephant seal who weighs 1,300 pounds and will get much bigger. Neil lives on and around the Tasman Peninsula. Neil does whatever he wants and no one is going to stop him. The citizens love him. The authority is frustrated - with Neil and the citizens.  When Neil comes ashore he likes to hang out around the hazard cones. I'm guessing the town is broke due to Neil destroying everything in his path. He also likes to scream at the residents if they refuse to feed him.  He's a character as they say and it might sound amusing at the moment because he hasn't hurt anyone. Yet. He's going to get bigger. He's going to become a belligerent bastard tenfold and he will continue his path of destruction.  So, what is the solution? They've already tried to relocate him and he just comes back. The Peninsula is about 250 square miles. Seems like the young lad should be able to find a quiet spot. Neil likes his cones. He p...
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