It's A Gas


Time to stock up on

Sugar free treats 

Gummy bears

Licorice 

and my favorite 

Sweet tarts!

According to this warning 

Sugar free candy gives us

Gas and odorous poopy farts.

The gases make you bloat

Like a giant

Thanksgiving float.

Stand back

Look out

Make way

I think I'm gonna blow!

Farting scents of

Sugar babies 

Sour Patch Kids, squishy 

Bugs that really glow!

So, fair warning on

Hallows Eve,

 By begging for some candy 

When answering my door

You might be greeted 

with a blast

Of candy from the 

Past!

A whiff of candy corn 

Through a maze of 

Tummy tubes

Goes in like fruity fruits

Comes out like Trump's

Rotten, rancid toots. 

So I'll save myself 

An awful night-

Pass on the gas

To ghouls who beg.

A midnight wind

Throughout the town

Three parts sulphur egg

emitting from a

Toddler clown,

Goblins, ghosts and

Witches, too,

Sleep through the night

As potions stew

Mom and Dad's

Sleep in their cars

Eating stolen sugar free

Snickers candy bars.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Best Books Of All Time?

Image
  😬 I consider myself an avid reader. Having noted that, there are very few books I have read from The Guardian's best 100 books of all time. My list is less than a dozen, even counting a few I started and never finished. 174 prominent writers participated in creating brain food for your pleasure. They each contributed ten of their favorite reads and someone somewhere somehow tabulated the favorites. Without further ado, the number one book of all time is ...... Middlemarch. The fucking hell it is. Lol. Like art, what you like is subjective. Some people believe Manga is good stuff. Others prefer historical novels, blah, blah, blah. I suppose the list is supposed to be taken more seriously because actual writers who make a living writing books have listed what they deemed the best read. I'm not a writer. I suppose like a musician who reads notes, understands the structure, the form, the timbre, they can recognize the whole. I just want a book that will entertain me and not try...
Read more

She's Still Dead

Image
   Ashli Babbitt was a traitor to this country. They can have all the ceremonial shenanigans the military likes to present as the deceased has been offered full military honors (We all know who requested that) it still won't negate the fact that she and thugs like her stormed a government building to do harm to others. They shit in the hallways. They carried confederate flags. They brought zip ties, bats and rage. The current regime can sugar coat it all they want but one day the orange man will be manure for his golf course grass and we can go back to truth being important. She deserved to be shot. More of them should have been shot that day. Every police officer should have followed the example of the police officer who did his job that day. These deplorables remind me of the fictional character, Ignatius J. Reilly, a lazy, selfish narcissist who decided to gather the factory employees in protest of some useless, archaic self indulgent mischief. He brought from home his soil...
Read more

Benny, Benny And No Regrets

Image
  It's just so hard to keep up with maga creeps. Here's Benny  Johnson, the guy who started the rumor that DC was a cesspool. He also claimed his house burned down while his family was in it. He's a liar. His house never burned down. You really can't believe much of what this asshat says because he has a habit of playing with facts. He also likes to steal other people's words. He has been fired and suspended numerous times for plagiarism, at least 41 times. It just boggles my mind when these people blatantly lie, then are outraged when called out. People like Johnson, Trump and Leavitt have probably lived their whole lives creating a make believe existence where lying is the norm. At some point it just becomes routine where they find lying acceptable and necessary. To me they are empty shells of mindless walking automatons. They live in a bubble of falsehoods. These are the people in charge of our country.  The NYTimes has done a story about Pinocchio Johnson. I dec...
Read more