You Think You Know Me

 

I think most of us have been in a public place where someone comes up and starts talking to you as if they know you. The sad part is, they probably do but you don't remember them at all. It's truly a weird situation and quite awkward because you have no idea how to reply to them. I once ran into a woman in the Jewels who started talking about her new dishwasher or something. I felt I had to say something so I asked her how her boys were. She replied she has three girls and just kept on talking as if she didn't notice I was trying to dig a hole to hide in. That's the usual awkward situation, but this one is even stranger because this guy I see occasionally around town seems to know me and I have zero idea who he is. I have pondered this far too long, yet, it's absolutely bizarre that every time I run into him he has conversations as if we know everything about each other. When I say I run into him, he's usually thirty feet away from me when he sees me and starts a conversation. I was again in a grocery store, standing in line, when I hear a voice three aisles down. It's him. He kind of looks like Neil Flynn, the janitor from Scrubs, so I recognize him when he shows up in my life. In the store he starts yelling and pointing at my groceries on the checkout counter and shouts, "Hey, you get a free can of tuna with those noodles. They're right there, over there. You should get a can!"

I didn't want tuna and I wasn't going to get out of line to get a can, but he wouldn't shut the hell up. "It's right there!" Omg, now everyone is looking at me to see if I go get a can. I just wave back to him whereupon he gives me a disgusted look and I grab my groceries and run. I have lived in this town which is not a small town but everyone does seem to know your business. I have seen this guy probably five or six times throughout the years and it's always the same. He never says my name, never asks what's happening in my life, so I wonder if he has me mixed up with someone else. That has happened to me as well, where someone called me, Pam, and started in about her issues of the day. Whaddya do? I stood and nodded my head. I felt kind of sad that I've never met my doppelganger, Pam, and kind of annoyed that this person didn't even notice I wasn't Pam. 

The last time I saw the guy I was at the local baseball game. I saw his giant form a few rows in front of me. He was with another man who was waving a toy on a stick. I tried to make myself small and hoped he wouldn't turn around but he's one of those looky loos who has to see what's going on around him instead of watching the game in progress. I put on my hat and sunglasses and scrunched into my seat. I watched as his head started to pan his surroundings. I whispered, "Don't see me, don't see me." 

He saw me.

"Hey, you should get Kingfisher hat! They're giving them away! Go get one!"

What the phooey. It's like I'm in a Stephen King novel. He's still looking at me, pointing towards the entrance. Again I wave and he gives me a disgusted look and turns back to the game. 

I'm sure he'll be at my funeral. He might have some great stories about us. I'll never know. 

Life is weird.