Toss Those Dil*os, Fellas!



Warning- Adult  content.

Gosh, you guys are so helpful. Tossing a dildo on a court is a good start for all women, but I'm afraid you're going to have to do better. Bring a boxful next time. Those things are expensive so any way you can help us out would be great because seriously guys, you should be replaced. A dildo doesn't tell us we're getting fat. It doesn't demand dinner or give you dirty looks when you burn the bacon. It doesn't come home with useless shit like another project that will eventually be abandoned and tossed in the basement. Yeah, sometimes you're good for stuff like taking out the garbage and opening those jars of sauerkraut. No worries about killing spiders. Dildo can do that! Hey, I can even throw away my birth control and I don't need some gross condom getting in the way of my pleasure. Dildos don't fart or leave the toilet seat up. They don't have judgmental mothers who disapprove of what we do. I can eat whenever and whatever I want and I don't have to wait for dildo to shut off the lights because they've been up all night playing video games or watching porn. My dildo will be loyal and never betray me, so yeah, keep tossing those out, fellas. Do us the favor. Lol. Jokes on you. No more pubic hairs. No more gagging. No more chafing. No more funny squeals or "Oh, oh, ooooohs." The lime green dildos are cute. So much better than a veiny blue floppy appendage that pees comes out of and other gross fluids. I'll take one in every color, please.

Oh, and when dildo says he'll get in touch, I know he will. Yeah, funny how your replacement just booped you one. Off you go now. Take your stinky shoes and holey underwear with you. 

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