A Letter From Your Boss, Jeff



June 19, 2025

From the desk on the yacht of Jeff Bezos 

To: my black employees only, the rest of you keep working 

My fellow subordinates, I see today is a big day for you. It is a day to reflect upon your past and current place in history. Juneteenth is about giving thanks you no longer have to work grueling hours for a pitiful fee. You can now buy coffee and one ply toilet paper, using your 5% employee discount on Amazon. I remember the day I met a black man. I will never forget it. He still works in the shipping department. A loyal underling if ever there was one. And now, I have many employees who celebrate the emancipation of their descendants. So, in honor of you all, I will be sitting on my yacht, thinking of you while you stand nine hours this day, working hard to make America great again. I will drink a toast with D'Amalfi Limoncello Supreme with caviar. By the way, the chocolate pie Minny made smelled quite interesting. Unfortunately, Lauren doesn't allow sweets. However, our Chow Chow seemed to really enjoy it. For your special day I am giving everyone, wait for it, an extra five minutes for lunch. Take this time to reflect and remember how far you have come because of insanely rich people like me. Those minutes will be deducted from your paycheck. So, enjoy your blessed day. Now, I must head off to Dubai to get a massage. 

Sincerely, 

Jeff Bezos

*Not exactly what he said but almost.



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