Gosh, well isn't that generous. $5,000. I'm gonna go out right now and find me an Elon, ready to spare some sperm and have me some babies. I'll be rich! Oh, wait... Ooh, that's gonna put a dent in my FA for the cause. Let's see... $5,000 - $2,854 = $2,146 left for me to... Oh, wait... Hmm... so, $70 x 12 = $840, which leaves me with $1,306. So, I will need a bassinet, crib, some bedding, burpy towels, baby wipes, baby bottles, formula, breast pump, room monitor, pediatrician, onesies, uh ... I need to work! Who's going to care for my baby while I'm gone!? I'm so tired. I can't do this. The government has shut down all assistance. What am I going to do with a baby!? I think I'll go have a glass of wine with my peeps instead. *All information Googled.
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