You Can Never Leave

 


Nothing happening under the sheets? Well at least you have a gorgeous head of hair! If you haven't heard about HIMS, I'ma gonna tell you about it. It looks to be a one shop, everything you need, telehealth organization for men. No need to be embarrassed about your erectile dysfunction because you don't have to look anyone in the eye when you explain your situation. No lingering looks by judgemental doctors or female nurses. It's all done online. Get some pills for the uncooperative, limp member. Get some more pills to get rid of those love handles. Add some more pills to have a thick and luscious head of curls. Then try to get out of your subscription after you realize you don't need those blue pills anymore. You never needed them because you just had a girlfriend who was a bit chunky and turned you off, but you found a woman who found HERS! She got the weight loss pills, the pill pills, the beautiful hair pills and some self injecting botox! They both also splurged and bought some sleeping pills, caffeine pills and flavored lube.

It was so easy to get them too- and the AI bot was so helpful. Why they had a box of pills delivered while they were still filling out the questionnaire! Wow, that's service. But the time has come to unsubscribe - if only there was a way without filling out a three hour wordsearch/maze/captcha explaining why you're leaving. And that's if you are able to find the customer service link.


Just be glad this is a company that believes in Trump! They donated a boatload of money to his Hobby Lobby gold sticker fund. Hey, that wasn't a payoff to keep the government off their backs! Nosiree.  How dare you insinuate such a thing. Simply the way Americans do business. A little slide of something something under the table (((wink wink)))

Oh, don't forget... they have pills for anger management as well. Better stock up! You're gonna need them. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Best Books Of All Time?

Image
  😬 I consider myself an avid reader. Having noted that, there are very few books I have read from The Guardian's best 100 books of all time. My list is less than a dozen, even counting a few I started and never finished. 174 prominent writers participated in creating brain food for your pleasure. They each contributed ten of their favorite reads and someone somewhere somehow tabulated the favorites. Without further ado, the number one book of all time is ...... Middlemarch. The fucking hell it is. Lol. Like art, what you like is subjective. Some people believe Manga is good stuff. Others prefer historical novels, blah, blah, blah. I suppose the list is supposed to be taken more seriously because actual writers who make a living writing books have listed what they deemed the best read. I'm not a writer. I suppose like a musician who reads notes, understands the structure, the form, the timbre, they can recognize the whole. I just want a book that will entertain me and not try...
Read more

She's Still Dead

Image
   Ashli Babbitt was a traitor to this country. They can have all the ceremonial shenanigans the military likes to present as the deceased has been offered full military honors (We all know who requested that) it still won't negate the fact that she and thugs like her stormed a government building to do harm to others. They shit in the hallways. They carried confederate flags. They brought zip ties, bats and rage. The current regime can sugar coat it all they want but one day the orange man will be manure for his golf course grass and we can go back to truth being important. She deserved to be shot. More of them should have been shot that day. Every police officer should have followed the example of the police officer who did his job that day. These deplorables remind me of the fictional character, Ignatius J. Reilly, a lazy, selfish narcissist who decided to gather the factory employees in protest of some useless, archaic self indulgent mischief. He brought from home his soil...
Read more

I Don't Want To Harp On It

Image
Do you ever ask yourself, "How? How does he get these women to fall for him?" That's a good question. And I think many of you would say, "Money." Or, you, over there, "Power." Well, yes, usually when we see a good looking woman, one who just passed puberty, locking arms with a guy that looks like Abe Vigoda, we can all assume she's sold her soul for money. A pair of Jimmy Choos means more to her than self respect.  But, when it comes to the orange man, there's something there- something I don't see but other women do. He was somewhat attractive when he was young, albeit the frat boy, prowler type. Now he's just a living, rotting carcass.  So, why does Natalie Harp want him so badly, and who the hell is Natalie Harp?  The only thing I know about her is what I have heard from the Daily Beast, which isn't much. She's a young lady who hangs around Trump as if she's his wife. (You need a contract for that) I'm guessing Trump ...
Read more