What Doesn't Kill You Bwaaaaauk

 


Gee, she seemed like a nice person. On her show she was frequently holding hands and wiping away tears. She always had something positive to say. Well, that was from the two three Kelly Clarkson shows I tuned into watch. My sugar count was getting too high so I had to stop watching. I do remember her when she was an innocent little lass who auditioned for American Idol. We were all innocent then. 

Seems she's in the news lately because it was her idea to make a giant molehill out of nothing other than she didn't get what she wanted, which apparently was a giant mechanical bird. A $15,000 bird, which according to shop owners was not for sale, although its doppelganger was. Clarkson wanted that bird and when she walked out of the store empty handed she tattled to all 8 million of her followers. I'm gonna bet little Kelly was the snitch in school.

"Teacher, Bobby's picking his nose again."

"Teacher, Sally ate a blue crayon."

"Teacher, I saw the principal kissing your husband."

Yeah, and I bet she smiled her big gapped smile the whole time.

Here's the thing, people. It's fine to come off as a saint, but sainthood is tiresome. Ya can't keep that shit up forever. No one on this planet is just good. No one. The problem here, Kelly, is how you decided to display your displeasure because you couldn't buy a giant mechanical bird. Instead of possibly talking with the owner of the shop or just cooling off a bit, you attacked them. You sicced your fans on them. I'm going to assume the shop received some nasty feedback. Kind of funny since 8 million of your fans couldn't afford to shop in the store in the first place. 

It's sort of refreshing to know you aren't Polly Perfect. It's truly disheartening but not surprising how low you went. Get off your high horse or bird. Think about donating that money burning in your fancy purse to a food bank. The store has been trying really hard to work with you. You just want what you want and intend to throw your weight around because you can. You look foolish. You really mucked it up. Be the decent human you pretend to be and apologize for your stupidity. 

I'll wait right here.

*The shop owner now wants $15 million for the bird. 

Comments

ex-ferrer said…
Was she the one that advocated vandalizing a boyfriend's truck "before he cheats"? As a truck owner, I can't condone that.
October 15, 2026 at 1:11 PM
Maggie said…
Really? I would have said that doesn't sound like her but that was before we learned about the real Kelly.
October 15, 2026 at 4:30 PM
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