Mile High Jesus


 I have a feeling this might catch on. A woman started preaching in an airplane while the passengers were waiting for a delayed takeoff. After she managed to invoke a few holy words, she was duly escorted off the plane. She was appalled and didn't seem to understand what the problem was. As she queried, "Don't I have the right to free speech!?" She looks like she has had the magat glow up. If you read the article from the Daily Rag and scroll down to her images, there is one where you couldn't figure out if that was actually a mannequin. 👇


All brain cells have left the building. She claims she converted two people. I have little doubt they converted to the Noodle God.

But hey, ma'am, you wanna play that game? As your reward for being a clueless member of the evangelical cult, you will be required to sit during an eighteen hour flight and listen to the Islamic Quran, Hindu Vedas, Jewish Tanakh, Buddhist Tripitaka, The Book of Mormon and the Nine Satanic Statements, all narrated by Robert Kennedy Jr.

I would almost believe this woman is pulling our leg, having a chuckle at our expense except for the fact she asked one of the crew members if they were Puerto Rican because she couldn't understand what they were saying. It just boggles my mind how absolutely clueless these people are regarding  boundaries and knowing your audience. I still think of the man who thought it would be a good idea to spread the gospel to an indigenous tribe that shuns all modern amenities. He learned the hard way when he was shot full of arrows and left to die on the beach. Rumor has it he was made into a stew, which would have been the most useful thing he had ever done. 

I've had the knock on the door from young Mormon men who looked too small in their man size suits. They wanted to come in and talk about God. I told them to come back when my live in boyfriend got home. Surprisingly, they never did show again. When I was still young and naive I remember walking in downtown Chicago and a man shoved a pamphlet in my hand, "Jesus loves you!" I started to walk away with the pamphlet until he grabbed it out of my hand and screamed at me that it wasn't free and called me some words  you don't see in the Bible. I don't have much sympathy for missionaries who decide to spread the word of God in a jungle where guerrillas chop people's heads off, only to get kidnapped, held for ransom and some other not so nice things. 

The magat lady was fortunate the plane was not yet in the sky. Just saying. 

This is my sermon...

Church is for praying.

Government buildings are for lawyering.

School is for learning.

Planes are for flying.

Stay in your lane, or your seat.

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