Perps And Pranks

 

They found her on a train with a can of cider near her. She remained silent, a child alone, looking out of place and had passengers baffled by her lonely vigil. Poor girl. No one even noticed her missing.

She was a mannequin. No, she really was a mannequin, apparently stolen away from her mum in the wee hours by a group of, well, here in the US, we'd call them criminals, thieves, perps, the unsubs.

In the UK they call them lads having a bit o' fun. A stag. No harm, no foul. The child was returned to her mum where they hung out at a train museum. The child most certainly enjoyed her adventure. She was wheeled back home due to her inebriated state, according to authorities. 

Sometimes when the algorithms align I get videos of bobbies rounding up the misfits in the streets of London. Occasionally the fellows have had too much ale after a pub crawl and talk back to the copper. 

Drunken British lad: "Aye, get yer hairy mitts off me pleather jacket, mate. I just bought it for ten quid, I did. I'm going to toss me cookies right atcha, mate."

Bobby: "Now, now, none of that smart sass. We'll take ya down to the station and get a warm cuppa tea inside ye and send you on her way."

Same crime, different country 

Drunken American male: " What the FUCK, I didn't do anything, bro! Ya gonna shoot me? Shoot me, pig!"

Cop: "Watch your mouth, punk! You stole private property, you good for nothing loser. Get the dogs! Say another word and I taze you. You'll get ten to life. Get the spit hood, Officer Byrd!"

Of course we know access to weapons makes a big difference in the apprehension of lawbreakers. But even so, there's a huge difference in how authorities react and how they treat others between us and them. 

Back in my day it was a big thing to do something wild after graduation or before moving away and most likely not seeing your friends for a long time. You stole a cow. Sometimes a real one, mostly the statue in the main square. Paul Bunyon was once kidnapped, as was a dinosaur and Big Boy was constantly targeted. Ronald McDonald was carried off in broad daylight. No one seemed to care. 

It seems like a rite of passage - one last crazy adventure before we put on the adult suit and become responsible pillars of society.

Speaking of pillars... (Milwaukee Riverwalk, just South of the E. Wells Street Bridge. Aaayyyyyy.