I've Been (Fill in the blank)

 

This girl ain't so stupid after all, despite this sentence. I think I have finally figured out what bothered me regarding a YouTube series that I watch(ed) usually late at night because it's so pretty and calming. I've constantly wondered if it was AI because everything is perfect. The videos are of a family who live in the Shahdag mountains of Azerbaijan. It usually begins with a closeup of the buildings where flowers are everywhere. There are huge baskets of fruits and vegetables, enough for an army, although the people we only ever see are a couple probably in their 50's who do regular chores. Their son is the videographer and he's absolutely talented in that regard. The animals, cats, dogs, crows, bunnies all live in harmony and look well cared for. Sometimes we will see the sheep in the meadows, the horses in the fields- absolutely nothing out of place. The woman bakes delicious food, massive amounts of food whilst the man tinkers about. 

And then today I saw another video with them but this time they had a guest, a very pretty woman who was helping out in the kitchen. Before I got into the video I wanted to see who this woman was. 

Holy fucking shit. Leyla Aliyeva, part of the Azerbaijan "Mafia" family, a bunch of corrupt rulers who are dear allies of Putin. So, this whole time I've been watching a propagandist channel. I knew something was off with this channel. Now I see it's all bullshit to show that life in Azerbaijan is beautiful. No one starves. No one struggles. Wow. 

I confess I knew nothing about the country. I'm sure I have googled it but obviously missed the class where it said their leaders were thugs who have off shore accounts with billions of whatever currency they use. 

I'm kind of relieved that I have finally solved the nagging question about these people. It makes me sad because I can't watch it anymore. Maybe I'm gullible or maybe the world is just one big fucking grift. I seriously try to be an open and honest person. I don't steal, cheat, lie or try to hurt another human. When I fail, it hurts. It's hard for me to believe that this is how the world works. I believed that good beat evil but now I'm not so sure. 

Fortunately, I tend to question things that just don't sit right. And this just didn't. There are a few other people who copy, or, try to copy this couple's beautiful lifestyle. There's actually a Ukrainian couple who show us their home and bake bread. I found it charming and also closer to real life as the older man makes shelves or birdhouses for the Mrs. His projects look like what I would make. They are splintery blocks of wood with some slapped on varnish. There were a few pots of flowers but nothing even close to the Azerbaijan couples' turnout. When the Ukrainian woman made homemade soap, it looked like homemade soap. 

When the Azerbaijan woman bakes ten loaves of bread using stones, it's a work of art.

But now I realize that behind the scenes are dozens of people working to give the gullible the impression that life is beautiful in Azerbaijan, especially when you support the regime and Putin. 

Bastards. What's the word for feeling relief and sickened at the same time? That's the title for this post.

*I'm not posting a link because I don't want people to watch this crap, but you can find it easily enough. We are told their son is the videographer and that could be bs as well. It's professionally filmed.