I, Jeffrey Epstein, Am Having No Fun

 

Raise your hand if you believe this is authentic?

No one?

It's a miracle! Evidence which proves Jeffrey Epstein took his own life because after seven years a suicide note has been produced. Wow!

Real, possibly fake, possibly real letter

It seems the handwritten note in illegible writing was in the hands of Epstein's former cell mate, Nicholas Tartaglione. According to the cell mate, Jeffrey had tried to do himself in a month prior to the successful endeavor. Nicholas, a former cop who was in prison for the murder of four people, found the note later, tucked in one of his books. (The Art of the Deal?) He hung on to it thinking it would help his case because he claims he found Jeffrey trying to hang himself and if not for him giving him CPR, Jeffrey would have died a whole month earlier. Unfortunately, the note didn't seem to sway a jury. Killing four people trumps CPR on a pedophile. 

The note has not been authenticated and no one seems in a rush to prove it's Epstein's. It's a rather strange goodbye. I am reminded of Trump's nutty rhetoric as I read it. "No fun!" Yeah, that's what happens when you rape children. Sometimes, you get caught. No fun, indeed. 

Anyway, this alleged note was about his alleged first attempt. Maybe he didn't feel the need to write another one. Howard Lutnick, Epstein's neighbor for over a decade, and occasional guest claims amnesia. "What? He lived next door to me? I was a guest? I recall nothing!" Lutnick also claims he once saw a weird sex room in Epstein's home (I thought he didn't know him?) and was thoroughly disgusted, never to step foot in the man's home again - until years later. He seems to have the Trump derangement syndrome where you just lie and think it will go away. The creep is a creep like all the other creeps who knew Epstein kept children and handed them out to guests like candy. Unfortunately for Trump and douchebags, a war, starving citizens, high gas prices, murdering protesters hasn't stopped the demand for the Epstein files. 

I wonder what deal they made with Tartaglione? Same deal as Maxwell got? 

Blanche: "Look, just wait it out a few more years. Trump will pardon you both right before he leaves office. If he leaves. Haha. Just kidding!"

I'm looking forward to the November mid term elections. It's gonna be a hoot. Even fafoed Trump lovers are going to vote blue. Seems they don't like going hungry either. 

As for the note- it's meaningless. It doesn't prove a damn thing and it certainly won't distract us from poking the fat bear and his scat.