A Public Service Announcement

 

I want to give you a heads up about tomorrow. Don't be one of those guys who ends up in a Walgreens or gas station at eight am on a Sunday morning buying dead flowers and stuff from the resale bin because that's all that's left because you forgot it's Mother's Day.

Mothers. There is no bond stronger than a mother and child. It just is. I always had the feeling our mother never wanted to be a mom, but she lived in an era where it was set in stone, otherwise you were considered a waste of space. I came to the conclusion at a young age about our mother after watching episodes of, 'The Brady Bunch,' and old reruns of, 'Father Knows Best,' where Margaret gave sage advice whilst mopping the floor on her hands and knees in a dress and heels. Those moms never slept on the couch in the middle of the day. When Marcia had a problem she could talk to Carol. When I was at a point in my early teens when I wanted to end my life, my mother's sage advice was to snap out of it. I don't blame her now. She was wholly unqualified to be a mother. She was raised by her elderly grandparents because her young, single mother needed to work and live. My mom's father was never in the picture and we, to this day, know nothing about him. 

Most TV moms set the bar pretty high, with the exception of a few like this list. They have Shirley Partridge on the list which is bullshit! She was a cool mom, but I never yearned to have her as mine. Roseanne is usually on the terrible mother list and again, wrong, in my opinion. She was about as real as any character that TV has produced. She loved her kids and husband. So she wasn't the best when it came to cleaning, big deal. Unfortunately, the real Roseanne turned out to be a horrible person but as a tv character, she was terrific. Still, not the mom for me. 

Claire Huxtable was scary. As was Margaret Anderson.

Laura Petrie kept her child locked in his bedroom until needed for showing off to the guests.

Livia Soprano wanted her son, Tony, killed. 

See, all types of moms.

I didn't want any of them. Claire would have never gotten off my back to be better. Roseanne would smoke a joint with me. Livia would sell me to a scar faced rival for a dime.

If I had to choose a tv mom to live with it would be Frankie Heck. Sue and I would share a room and walk to school together. I would beat up Axel because I hated him, but Brick and I would get along so well. I love the house, a mid century, lived in sanctuary. I would have liked a dad like Mike. Although Frankie was a walking disaster, she tried her hardest. I've watched every episode and every year they did a Mother's Day episode where the children and dad screw up. They try. Sort of, kind of. Not if Maggie Heck was around! It would be the perfect day because moms deserve the best.

I hope y'all had a good mom. It really is a tough job, but there is no one who will love you more. Unless you're Tony Soprano. But, most moms deserve a little recognition and a reminder that they matter. 

Candy

Flowers

Stinky perfume 

Jewelry 

Yes, please.

Happy Mother's Day.