The Queen, Evil Stepmother And A Dragon

 


Damn, what a bitch. Instead of possibly coming off as an actual human being, the Danish queen tells her daughter in law to back off petting her dog. The tension is palpable, even from where I'm sitting, a zillion miles away. I had two MIL's in my life. One was nicknamed Dragon by her own children if that gives you a clue. The other was the evil step mother who married their father and both biological parents fought over custody of the children. Neither wanted them. I saw the step mother more often than Dragon who lived in some low rent housing in a very bad section of Chicago with her boyfriend. Dragon was your typical alcoholic, if that's a thing. She didn't really connect with her five children until they all became adults. When they were children and their father married his sister in law (it's complicated, like the monarchy) Dragon dumped the children off one cold night in front of his door and took off to be single and free. Naturally, the newlywed bride was not amused and treated the traumatized children just like a Grimm's fairytale evil stepmother. She'd make up stories about how the children treated her badly during the day and Dad would smack them with his belt. One story I will never forget was when the two girls, in their teens, took matters and a gun into their own hands one day and threatened to kill stepmom if she ever touched them again. They were soon sent off to parts unknown. 

When Dragon came around after we had been married a few years she became colder and more distant to me. Fair enough. I always wear my emotions on my sleeve. Her son may have forgiven her for abandoning them as children but I didn't. So now she tried to be the cool mom which involved taking her three sons bar hopping- all day long. I remember one trip from Chicago to the Indiana Dunes which should have been a very short drive. It ended up to be an eight hour nightmare where Dragon and company needed to stop at every dive along the way. For fun, the first to pass out had shaving cream squirted in their hand or water dripping from their face so the inebriated one would piss in their pants. Fun times. The last time I saw her is when she came to the funeral of her youngest son who had taken a tumble down a flight of stairs after a night of drinking. My husband and I had already agreed to divorce at this time so there were no warm greetings between us. I gave her a quick hug as she stared daggers at me, then I left. 

Speaking of dogs... my EMIL (evil mother in law) had a Scottish terrier who was an asshole. He was so territorial he even bit her children if they got too close to mom. Ella Lou reminded me of Scarlett O'Hara, in 'Gone With the Wind.' I rarely saw her leave her lounge chair when we'd visit. She was surrounded by pill bottles, tissues and a Tom Collin's. I really had no problems with her. She too had abandoned children to marry two more times. She once showed me a picture of her first husband who was movie star handsome. I think her daughter from that marriage never forgave her and never saw her again. I always thought she was faking her many illnesses so I was surprised when she actually died fairly young of a massive heart attack. 

I have no idea how or when Dragon died. I'm sure it was in some dimmly lit hour a night rat hole. All her children sans one had preceded her in death. Terry tumbling down. Charlotte to the drink. Alan who ignored his diabetes and beautiful Linda killed by a drunk driver, which must be irony or just a fucking lesson about our society. 

I myself, am not anyone's MIL, although I came close when my daughter who was four months pregnant and excited to be a mother and wife was blindsided when she found out her husband to be was still having canoodling with his former baby mama. Oh, how very Jerry Springer. So, my child refuses to marry. She is dating a very nice man so who cares. Her baby's daddy actually grew up to be a great guy. Without him three households would fall apart. If my daughter ever decided to marry I think I'd be a good, yet very distant (in real miles) MIL. I do know if my pretend son in law wanted to pet my pretend dog I'd be very happy knowing he loves animals. Queen, Evil stepmother or a Dragon - be kind. Remember, daughter in laws usually decide your later years. Just saying.

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