Dear Poopyhead

 


Dear Donald Trump,

 You really hurt my feelings today. I thought you were my friend, but no, you are not. I shared my big bag of money with you and you didn't do what I asked. I said I wanted three spaceships. You lied, Donny. Now I'm going to tell everybody what you did. 

Your ex friend,

Elon

To Elon,

 You better keep your mouth shut. You're nasty. Your kid is nasty. I don't like boogers on my desk and I don't like you leaving your medicine in my MAGA cap. I told you I would pay you back soon. I need three more pardons. I'm waiting for Diddy to go to jail, then hit him up for millions. So, just keep your nasty mouth closed.

President DJT

Dear Poopyhead,

I'm going to tell everybody about your "bloody" ear. You dummy. You'll be toast if you don't pay me back for rigging the election. I had to kiss Putin's butt for you, pal. Don't you forget it. He's still got the pee pee tape and I have the Epstein list. Make one false move and I squeal about the ear. Got it? 

A former bro,

Elon Musk 

Dear Nasty Man,

I WILL HAVE YOU DEPORTED AND SENT TO A PLACE FAR AWAY LIKE AUSTRIA WITH THE KANGAROOS! I AM THE KING! I WAS SHOT! EVERYONE SAW THE BLOOD! IT WASN'T A FAKE TABLET WITH SOME FAKE BLOOD SET OFF BY REMOTE CONTROL! I AM GOING TO PARDON HARRY AND MEGHAN AFTER I SEND THEM TO EL SALVADOR FOR A WEEK. THEY HAVE MONEY SO YOU JUST BEHAVE, ELON NASTY MUSK!

DJT

Dear Donny,

 I don't need money. I'm the richest man in the world and soon, on Mars. You hurt my feelings, Donny. I thought you were my one and only friend. We drank Cokes together and shared some tabs. Can you give me back my satellites? I'm sorry. I won't bring my kid over anymore. I don't even remember his name. I'm getting a cuter one real soon with Miller's wife. I miss you.

Your friend,

Elon

Dear Elon,

Let's get together at Mar-A-Lago over the weekend. We can take my new plane. Melania will be gone so we can talk about you know who. Hee hee. Bring some Diet Coke this time and some tacos. I'm in the mood for tacos. Be careful, Stephen is looking for you. I'll try to send him to China. Do you really like me?

Your bff

Donny





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