What We Can Learn From Lindsey

 

Not gonna lie- I was smiling when I read the news that Lindsey Graham died, "a brief and sudden  illness." Mere hours after his death, we learn he died from an aortic dissection. It's a truly painful way to go and some would say, an avoidable death. I've seen the comments from my fellow lefties. There is no sorrow following his demise. The only post I found that was somewhat kind was Adam Kinzinger's post where he noted they had been friends at one time, then Lindsey changed. Kinzinger admits they rarely agreed on issues, yet, some people can look beyond one aspect of a person's life. I never will understand that, especially knowing how very hard Graham fought to keep America white, Christian and straight, even though it is very likely he was a closeted gay.

Y'all can rag on him, I don't have any issues with you calling him out because he did indeed go to the dark side. 

Why?

Denial and self hate come to mind. He grew up in the South in a traditional Christian upbringing where prayers were said before each meal and church was mandatory. He learned to suppress who he was and like so many others, turned on the very people he had so much in common with. There was another man who also was raised in nearly the same traditional, Southern mindset  Lindsey lived. Leslie Jordan by his own account never hid who he was. His father was a military man and an alpha male but he accepted Leslie, or at least tolerated him. His parents loved him no matter what. I don't know what was going on in the Graham household. I do know what it is to be brainwashed. For me, going to a Catholic grade school and living in the white bread Midwest where neighbors locked their car doors when a black man walked by, where the n- word was used as often as a good morning greeting. Hell was a threat to children to keep us in line. People of color were to be avoided. And no one in our family talked about odd, but so much fun, cousin Roger who walked and talked funny. 

Another thing about Lindsey where he does what many men in this country do, and that is to avoid seeing a doctor. He allegedly was advised to see a doctor just before he became ill. He put it off until his time had run out. 

So instead of going low, I want to find something useful here. One- see a doctor. There are so many stories of men who avoid going they die all too soon. 

Two - Be you. It's not easy, especially living in an anti- gay, black, Jewish, Muslim, brown, "an overfed, long haired leaping gnome," society. It's difficult to admit that the adults you lived among were wrong- about everything. 

It kind of makes me sad when I look at Lindsey standing in Disney World, holding the bubble wand. The Lindsey hidden deep inside would have laughed when knowing he was spotted. He should have danced through a rainbow of bubbles. Instead, he felt shame and needed to counteract that image with one where he shoots targets out of the sky. 

I'm not sorry he's gone, but I do feel pity for him. He never thought he could be anything other than a praying, God fearing, homophobic Southern boy. 

We have so very little time here. See a doctor once a year or when you feel unwell. 

Most of all-  let people find their happiness.