Cyclosporiasis- Not In The Odyssey

 


Oh dear, seems like the flatlanders are suffering from explosive diarrhea. Just stay downwind, neighbors. No one seems to know the exact source, what and where- but the usual suspects are mentioned- bagged salad, raspberries, blueberries. Seems to me in the past when something like this occured our government agencies could pinpoint the culprit faster than an explosive episode. I'd advise you to forego eating fruit and vegetables for the near future unless you want to be pooping in your pants at the most inopportune time. No time is good to be exploding crap out your backside, but to be safe stick to the carnivore diet. Of course we can't just live on meat even if our health secretary advises we do so. 

So, what can you eat and not expect a volcanic eruption? Sugar, honey, yogurt, garlic and beans. Beans!!!?

This is our new normal, kids. The government fired the inspectors. I'm guessing the people who picked the fields are sitting in cages somewhere in Amerikkka waiting to be deported, so we have people who don't give a shit about safety. I surely do hope we find out where this icky parasite is getting through. Unlike the flu that hits and is gone this guy stays with you. You never know when an explosive episode will occur. I guess we will just have to get used to seeing shit storms as we shop, ride the metra or sit in a restaurant. 

Making America Great Again.

Thank-you, orange man.

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