A Coincidental Coincidence

 


"Oh, we love him but me and Daryl think he's hiding the truth cause people will just go crazy if they knowed what really happened. I was shaving Daryl's back cause he was gonna apply at the Whine and Diner. He's a real good cook. Grits, and gumbo is his specialty. Anyhoo, I usually get on the Fox News with Jesse Watters. He's so handsome. Anyways, they showed us the volcano and the UFO comin' out of it. Where was it Daryl - one of them third world countries, like Paraquat.


But then we seen it, right Daryl? I'M TELLING THEM 'BOUT THE ALIEN SPACESHIP! Don't mind him. He can't hear too well after blowing off some fireworks last fourth. Anyways, we seen it fly out of that burning volcano. They must've couldna breathe in there, or the heat was killin' 'em. They all tryna cover it up as a coingkeydink but that's just ridiculous. Any fool can see it weren't no meteor. It went up and out, didn't it, Daryl? Will you leave that damn dog alone! I said chain him up and come get yer supper! Come and talk to this here reporter. Whaddya say your name was, Cady? That's right purty. Daryl, she works for The Blue Bottom Line. Do you know Jesse? Ain't he a peach? DARYL!"


"Dammit, Loretta, I ain't got time for this. I'm stockin' the bunker. Damn dog ate my Rump watch. That cost me two months disability payments. Ima gonna get that back, I tell ya. Loretta already told ya, it's a flying saucer. Mr. Trump, God bless him, can't say it cause them dumocrats will go nuts. Loretta, where's the canned tomatoes to stick in the bunker? What paper ya say you from, The Blue what? You know that Maria gal on Fox? She's a fox (((snort snort))) Anyways, it were a spaceship for sure. We gotta get ready. We only seen one come out, but there's more and they're coming. Dammit, Loretta, I told ya to stop eatin' the pishtashoes. Your tooth come out again."


Well, like Loretta and Daryl, I found the video of the volcano and meteor quite intriguing. I swear if I weren't a progressive, educated dumocrat, I'd be thinking about joining the couple in their bunker. If Barack Obama believes there are extraterrestrials out there, well why isn't possible they're already here? Just watch this video That's an alien talking, trying to divert our attention away from the truth! 

I'm heading to the store now. I gotta stock up on pishtashoes and diet coke. Don't say we didn't warn y'all.

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