Mike Rotch Visits Matt Gaetz

 


Hey, I don't think I ever wrote about this guy, Matt Gaetz, but I can't pass this story up. Gaetz claims he was visited by a top military official who shared some top secret information regarding aliens. I believe this officer's name was General Lee Mike Rotch. He had some serious news and wanted this low level nobody to spread the alarming news because who doesn't trust Matt Gaetz!? Somewhere in various sections of these United States aliens are procreating with humans. I'm not exactly sure if this is consensual or forced. I do know Gaetz believes it. 

I don't know why the far right just loves those aliens, Bigfoot, demons, chem trails and all the thousands of theories out there. What is it about this life that we are given where we can't find titillation from what is actually out there? It's not enough to get our endorphins humming so they have to get all giddy with outrageous conspiracy theories. Damn, people, be like a liberal and smoke some weed, chew on a mushroom, drink some wine to make life interesting. I bet if I went outside and took a random survey regarding whether people believed in ghosts, aliens, the Mothman, demons and cannibal eating lefties, then asked their party affiliation we all wouldn't be surprised. You'd think Matt would have enough on his plate to keep him occupied but these ideas seem to take hold in them. I love a good alien movie, but when the final credits are scrolling I'm thinking about dinner or other matters. 

This would be amusing if not for the fact that these people are in positions where we regular people rely on them to make intelligent decisions. We've already spent billions bombing people who didn't know they needed bombing. The regime has used precious resources going after people who are absolutely no threat to humanity. I cringe to think of billions of dollars that are going to groups called, 'Aliens R Us,' and 'Good Squatch Hunting,' paid with our tax dollars.

I'm not sure what General Lee Mike Rotch whispered in Matt's ear but it was enough for him to say the stuff people should probably keep to themselves, out loud. I doubt I will ever be writing about Gaetz soon or ever unless a certain Captain Ben Dover knocks on my door and shares highly confidential top secret information stuffed in a Taco Bell bag with me. I would have to reassess my beliefs regarding very strange things occuring all around us. I might have to thank Gaetz, MTG, JD, RFK Jr and Magas everywhere, for seeing what others have missed. 🫡🤫👽

So, what am I so far not seeing...?

Gaetz: Aliens and humans procreating.

Laura Loomer: Weather manipulation. 

MTG: Aliens are fallen demons. 

JD Vance: Also believes this as well.

Tim Burchett: Aliens, UAP's (Unidentified Anomalous Phenomenon)

Barack Obama: Ha! Gotcha. I did have to add him because he did mention on a podcast that he believes aliens could be out there. With context- it's a very large universe, it's a possibility but one we probably will never be privy to in our lifetime. 

*Mars Attacks!

**Sadly, after doing some looking around it seems Dems too believe we have been visited by aliens and that they walk among us. 😞


Comments

ex-ferrer said…
Has anyone seen Mike Rotch? Does anyone know where Mike Rotch is? The answers are out there, really out there.
April 3, 2026 at 8:39 AM
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