Join Now And Get $50,000!

 


It's not a new marketing ploy - how many times have businesses tried to entice you with money, big money? Get $500 in groceries if you join right now! I've been almost taken in with Temu's games which claim to give you money back! It's amazing! Until you read the teeny tiny fine print. For the next $5,000 you spend we'll chip off a few cents. Gotta be quick! This offer is subject to government intervention. 

Aww, those poor ICE hirees, all thinking they were going to get a big bundle of $50,000 if they join the brown shirt club. 

Picture it... Podunk, USA....

"Lookie here, Mavis, says I'll get $50,000 just for gettin' picked to round up them border hoppers. That's a win-win in my book. Hey, once I get that money, Imma quit right there and we can build our double wide back behind your Mama's pot garden. I won't have to work for ten, twenty years!"

Unfortunately, that's now how it works and men in masked cosplay outfits are starting to grumble because the money is spread out, so far out you won't even notice it. And you pay taxes on that bonus where that $50,000 dwindles down to about $12,000. So, now yer stuck, dressing up each morning in a Halloween costume, fighting off angry citizens who hate yer stinkin' guts. Why even Joe's Pizzeria told y'all to stay out of their joint, and man, that was good pizza. Now what if you wanna quit after watching Bubba aka Scooter, separate a baby from her mama as they sprayed agent orange in daddy's mouth? It was kinda sickening and not exactly what ya signed up fer but who's gonna hire ya after this!?

"So, Mr. Babcock, there's a time discrepancy on your application. Says you worked at Wally-Mart for five months, then Mel's Auto for three months, then at the recycling plant for a month. That was five years ago. Whatcha been doing since then?"

"Oh, I was an antpernewer. I made things. Don't need to go checking that up. A man's word is every... now, I said, don't be looking that... Yeah, I know my way out."

Ya see, eventually you're gonna have to take off the masks. Eventually, the people running the country are going to prison and what do you have for all that? A tent pitched behind Fred's bait and bagel shop. 

Gahd Bless America.

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