Let's Discuss The V-Word

 

Oh, here we go. I'm gonna mention the V-word. No, not that one, the other V. 

Vegetarian. Now I have never been to the UK, but I hear the food is pretty bland. The history of plain food began during the Wars where people had potatoes and cabbage to eat. The British are sentimental so choose to eat oatmeal and crackers on a regular basis. So I hear. I couldn't quite understand why Paul McCartney was protesting the banning of burgers since he has been a vegetarian for as long as I know. Obviously I need to put on my listening ears because the only thing considering being banned is calling a soy patty a burger. Only 7% of Brits forego the fish with the chips. I can't see the Brits getting rid of their bangers any time soon and they won't have to and this isn't about the bangers. It's about fakery, illusion, a downright lie, called marketing, although vegetarian food should fool no one. Perhaps a born blind Brit who has been fooled into believing the steak before him comes from a cow. So, one guy. One guy. UK authorities have an issue calling vegetarian food, "steak," or "sausages," which to me, seems rather plausible. Most vegetarian "meat," tastes like rubber or vomit. I should know. I was the V-word for over twenty five years until I had an epiphany one day. That enlightenment was in the shape of a chicken drumstick. It smelled so damn good, and although a few brands have managed to make some vegetarian "burgers" palatable, the chicken- well, they have never achieved anything close to a clucker. And believe me, I missed chicken all those meatless years. Like a smoker who quits after fifty years and then has the nerve to tell people how to live, I was the smug one who always had to mention I don't eat things with faces. Now I do and I feel no guilt. I won't go into detail regarding my change. It is what it is and for twenty- five years I ate horrible, awful processed crap that shouldn't even be called food, let alone a burger. For some reason it's a lot more expensive than the real cow or pig. Yes, there is the alternative, and that would be to just eat natural food like fruits, vegetables and legumes. Well, kill me. Kill me now. Obviously my choice so many years ago wasn't about being healthier because that didn't happen. I probably ate more garbage as a vegetarian than I did before and as I do now. Hey, I like Paul. I'm a Beatles fan but I agree with the British authorities. Stop calling rubber slop a burger. I did actually serve all vegetarian dishes on Thanksgiving and never did get my turkey because everyone but myself was the you know what. What upside down world am I living in!? There are a few vegetarian brands that I can still eat, but right now I've got pork chops in the fridge ready to be prepared for my belly. Bon appetit. Not sure what they say in jolly old England. They eat beans on toast so who cares.

Here's some recommended vegetarian food that won't make you barf. They won't bring you to their side either but just in case you want to try it.

Morningstar original grillers and their corn dogs.

Amy's Country Cheddar bowls. I still buy these, although they have shrunk considerably and they are ridiculously expensive. I have noticed there is some controversy regarding employee wages and even unsafe working conditions. Yikes. I do recall finding a nail in my Amy's pizza and making a complaint many years ago. I received a refund in coins via snail mail. It never went further than that because I remembered I may have been cleaning out a junk drawer a day prior to the nail pizza. Seems I was right about Amy after all. So, with caution, try an expensive downsized bowl if you must. 

Honestly, all the rest is gross. 

*Yes, the title is click bait even though I don't need the views. I get double digits. Ho-hum. 😉