The TDS Meeting


"I'm TDS triggered 

But I can change

If I have to

I guess."

"Welcome everyone to our weekly TDS meeting. We have a new member tonight. Please welcome her here. No real names are required. What would you like us to call you?

"Uh, Thingy is fine."

"Welcome, Thingy."

"Would you like to tell us a little bit about yourself and why you're here?"

"Sure. It all began in early 2000 when he he he he..."

"It's okay, take your time. Deep breaths. That's it. Whenever you're ready. We're here for you. What's our motto, gang?"

Ne sinas eum

cubiculum in animo

tuo conducere.

"Oh, what does that mean?"

"Don't let him rent a room in your head."

"But that's so hard. I wake up and he's on my mind. I try to sleep and he enters my thoughts. I'm a wreck at work. If anyone mentions his name, I just start to ball my fists and slam drawers. Someone asked if I'd like a slice of their orange and I grabbed it and squeezed and squeezed and ..."

"We've all been there, Thingy. Bubba over there still foams at the mouth whenever he hears the word, "ankles with a 'c' in front. We try not to say certain words that trigger our impulses to resort to any negativity or violence." 

"Oh, gosh. I recently saw a picture someone posted on Bluesky of his ca... ((( Bubba gurgling))) uh, his fat ankles. The poster asked how long do you think it would take for him to die because of his c... how about if I say, "fankles"? 

"Yes, Bubba doesn't seem physically impaired by that. Go ahead."

"So, I saw that and wanted so much to respond with this- 'If you shoot him in both fankles, a lot sooner.' I was so tempted, but I stopped myself because his circus brigade would come banging on my door." 

"Yes, we do understand. How did you find us, Thingy?"

"Well, it was this or shining ICE boots.


 I got caught tagging a municipal building downtown and when the pigs tried to stop me I ran through the streets screaming, "Covfefe dies tonight !" Honestly, I don't think I can change. Maybe I should go."

"We do have one way we relieve some of our derangement symptoms. Would you like to see?"

"Uh, okay, I guess."

We say a little poem whenever we start to get the TDS's. Ready, gang?"

We are stronger than the clown 

We won't let him get us down 

We have hope and we will win

So stick his ass with this here pin.

"What? A pin? I'm confused." 

"Have you ever played pin the tail on the donkey?"

HEEHAW 

"Oh, a giant..."


"Shhhhhh... Welcome to the club, Thingy."

"I feel better already."

*I read something the other day by a Reich winger about libs having TDS. I never paid too much attention to the derogatory accusation it's meant to convey. I admit when Trump is mentioned I automatically tense up because I know nothing good is going to come out of his mouth. I normally don't wish the worst on a fellow human- other than him. I'm not sure if that's deranged or clear logic. When an evil entity is within our midst, it's a natural response to react with fear, anger and wish the thing to be eliminated. I worry about the Trump supporters who appear to have some strange disorder which allows them to disregard all facts and evidence. That is something psychiatrists will need to study. Why do people follow a corrupt, lying malignant narcissist without question? TDS might not be an official medical term, but the American Psychological Association (APA) notes anger is a normal response to a threat. Trump is the biggest threat this country has faced in a very long time. You'd have to be insane not to see that.

**Totally stole ideas from the Red Green Show. 


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