Aaron And His Invisible Bride

 


I don't know why I'm still curious about Aaron Rodgers. I think I'm pretty good weeding out frauds and people giving out bad vibes. Rodgers fooled me. Bigly. He seemed like an intelligent, kind and a little odd, with an all American boy persona that went way south. I'm not exactly sure when the cracks began. I think it was at the height of COVID we found out who the real Aaron was. He calls himself a "critical thinker," which means he doesn't believe in science, but something far greater than science - his imagination. He lied about taking the covid vaccine, because he critically thought about it and came up with the idea that scientists were wrong and he was right. Then he talked about doing his thinking, with his thoughts, in something the size of a fishing hut and thinking, thinking some more, with the help of a hallucinogenic. He was unhappy with being a Packer. He felt he was no longer receiving the respect he was due. He wanted to move on and the cheddarheads said, "F off, ya loser." Ok, maybe I said that. He was dating several well known women throughout his Packer time. The car racer, Danika Patrick, which I thought was the one, but it didn't last. Then he dated the actress, Shailene Woodley, who ran for the woods after Aaron said they were engaged. So I'm assuming the guy really wants a wife and probably little Aarons. I won't go into his sad football downfall. Honestly, I don't even know how he's doing. He'll be 42 in December. That's like 80 in football years, so his time is nearly done. Now he wants to settle down and word is, from his mouth to our ears, he has found his mate. She's mighty shy because no one has seen the blushing bride. I'm guessing he keeps her in a closet or the fishing hut. Her name is "Brittani.' Well, ain't that adorable. You sure it isn't, George? George Glass? 

Poor Aaron. I kind of feel sorry for him. I feel sorrier for me for being duped. It wasn't really his fault that I believed he was a cool guy, instead of a nut. Maybe he got hit in the head one too many times. I've heard rumors his family has distanced themselves from him. All along I blamed them for not being cool, but it was him- he was the uncool one in the family. I wonder if the family has met his bride? Hopefully they'll have a bicycle pump just in case she starts to deflate. 

Anyway, I'll keep an eye out for Brittani. I'm real curious about the type of woman who'd go for a conspiracy theorist, Ayahuasca imbibing, glass boned, critical thinker. 

Oh, the Packers and the Steelers, October 26th! Maybe we'll catch a glimpse of Brittani. Keep your eyes peeled. 

Comments

ex-ferrer said…
He was pretty damn good in his prime, but always weird. The family problems preceded his NFL career, I think, but admittedly I haven't studied that. Who DOESN'T have problems with family! The weirdness was always there, and he just got weirder as his career progressed. So many jocks just never know when to retire.
October 23, 2025 at 7:57 AM
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