The Tale Of Four Exes

 

Did I ever tell you the tale of the exes? I was not wife number one. I was two. Little did I know until after I married in a whirlwind courtship that number one wife was now married to brother number three. Yes, yes. The ex did tell me he was married before. He was also engaged to someone when I met him. She was actually still living in his house, along with another ex fiancee. Brother number two also lived in the home. So many flags, right? He's courting me while two former fiancees all live together. But, I was young and fascinated by this dynamic, so I ignored the flags. I overlooked the fact that the ring the ex fiancee had been wearing was now offered to me. What a lucky gal I was. After we had been married a short time my new father in law invited everyone out to dinner to not only celebrate our marriage but also the marriage of his sixteen year old daughter who had run away with one of Daddy's employees, and who had been hiding his lovely young daughter all the while claiming he had no idea where she was, worrying my sickly new mother in law who had a bad heart. To save face, the young couple married, so it was a twofer. Amongst the group was a woman at the end of the table who seemed to find the evening hilarious because she kept giggling throughout the evening whilst those around her coughed and sputtered and had some sort of group mass psychogenic illness as their faces were quite red. After the very awkward meal I asked my newlywed "Who was that weird girl with brother number three?"

That's when I found out she was his former wife. Seems they had all shacked up at one time, unbeknownst to hubby, the couple was a throuple. This enchanting woman was ten years older than my husband and fifteen years older than brother three. She was also nuts. I eventually found out hubby had kept a knife under his pillow in case she decided to attack him in the middle of the night. Marriage to brother three didn't last long either and she eventually drifted away.

After we divorced my ex married a woman who had five children. He trusted her with paying the bills. One evening, about eight months later he was greeted at the door by a man who handed him a foreclosure notice. It seems wife number three had a gambling addiction and had been spending the mortgage money at the casinos. Divorce number three.

By this time I hadn't seen the ex in a very long time, which was fine with me. I didn't have a problem anymore with him, but he took our divorce hard. He never saw it coming which was odd because if he wasn't working he was in a bar. I needed a car since winter was approaching and I was driving a Jeep Comanche at the time which is not conducive to winter weather. It wouldn't stay on the road during rain, snow or sleet. He knew a guy who knew cars, so I asked him to find one for me. All business. I go to his home which had once been my home despite the shenanigans of wife three, knock on the door and meet wife number four. I could see she was older than him, although she tried to look much younger, with a short skirt and the no bra look, which just made her look a bit pathetic. She looked at me and asked through a fog of cigarette smoke, "What?" then walked away. After the ex showed me a car I really liked and considered buying he asked me to come inside the house. I thought we'd be signing papers and exchanging money. We walk in and number four is sitting on the floor in the middle of the living room playing with some tarot cards and crystals. The ex says to me,  "You should thank us both for trying to help you out. I didn't really want to but "blah blah" thought I should. Maybe you should thank her."

I looked at him, handed the keys back and walked out the door. I've only seen him once since then and that was after number four died from some unknown illness. He looked like shit and didn't acknowledge my existence. I would have preferred never to see him either but our offspring needed the same old guy who had a car. The ex was now living the life of an aging frat boy. He had rented out rooms to other sad sacks like him. I became a bit emotional looking at him, thinking about what ifs. 

Wife one, three and four are no longer with us. (I must also apologize for scoffing every time my MIL grabbed her chest, claimed she was not long for this world, then grabbed a cigarette. She really did have a bad heart and died not long after I left the family)  Anyway, I feel I survived what could have been an extremely awful (short?) life if I had remained with the ex. (I don't suspect him of foul play at all. 😏) I have never remarried. One was one too many for me. I have no regrets. It was not easy, but I did the right thing.