The Upcoming Bacchanal

 


Here we go, the last three (or four) day bacchanal before the Halloween stuff comes out. I'm going nowhere, doing nothing, seeing no one. It'll be perfect. This year won't be like last year where I had ordered a few groceries from a certain chain store and was gifted with over $150 worth of someone else's barbeque provisions. Sausages, hamburger patties, hotdogs, chips... and one of the most powerful man spray deodorants I have ever encountered. One spray will remove pesty guests and it's chemical vapors will last days. If I ever go into bear territory I'm taking that. I tried to explain to the delivery guy it wasn't my food but he didn't speak English and didn't care. This was before the roundup of our neighbors from Mexico. They no longer deliver. Now I get 80 year old Fred who wheezes as he climbs a flight of stairs, so I carry the groceries and Fred to finish the delivery. I called the store hotline and was told to keep or donate the groceries because they couldn't take them back. Donate bratwurst and cheese! Were they insane?! I had vittles for a month. Alas, this year it's down to pasta and some frozen vegetables. I've also cut out sugar, my most favorite thing. You think quitting smoking is hard, deny yourself a Reese's peanut butter cup, or a donut with sprinkles or cheesecake. I blame that Kennedy nut who someone said sounds like a "busted leaf blower." 😄😆 Or, maybe it's Dr. Oz. who's stifling my last few joys in life. I get confused with our Nazi regime personnel. The future is preventative care. If you get sick, tough, you pay out of pocket, so, I need to take care of my health, at least for the next three years, then depending on who we vote for I'll do a mukbang. Pizza, fried chicken, donuts, a piece of lettuce for greens, all washed down with, "lashings of hot screwdriver."*

Anyway, as they say, Be careful out there and don't leave the potato salad out in the sun.

*Basil Fawlty quote. If you don't know Basil, I don't know if we can be pals. 


Comments

ex-ferrer said…
DElightful! I'm glad you were gifted like that! It beats my 3 ponds of salmon coup by far!
August 29, 2025 at 11:39 AM
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