No, I Don't Want Your Cookies
It's getting harder and harder to get access to interesting looking articles because more often these days we are required to accept cookies. I don't want your cookies because you're just like my next door neighbor who wanted to share her Oreos with me so she could run off with my Barbies. I was tempted because Mom bought the Oreo knockoffs, but, I wasn't falling for it then and I'm not doing it now. This is a blatant bullshit lie that accepting and clicking on that button is for your reading pleasure, so that other big and beautiful articles just like the one you read will be delivered to you. No. And screw you. I'm not that naive to believe my online movements aren't being watched. That sounds paranoid af, but it's probably more true than not. Mass murderers are being watched. Anti- Trumpers are being watched. Grandma looking for some good recipes is being watched. In most instances I don't give a shit if some entity wants to see what I'm up to because it's pretty boring. I look at kitty videos and people making cakes with drills and skills. Boring shit. Occasionally, I'll rail against the government... Nah, government is the wrong word, the annihilation of democracy by the orange man and minions. Big whoop. I'm one in six billion who hate the mofo. Now, if I actually threatened to take him down I'm sure I'd get a knock on my door. Maybe. They're probably pretty busy, threatening others and yet, they knew about certain bad boys who wanted to kill a massive amount of people and they did nothing. Still, I'm laying off the sugar. I'll find ways to get the news I want without accepting your cookies. I'll keep finding loopholes until there aren't any more and every single site I go into wants my Barbies. Then, I'm done with the WWW. I'll listen to the word on the street. I might have to bake some tollhouse cookies in exchange for information but at least I'll know who I'm dealing with and they won't be looking into my business and my Barbies will be safe, for now.
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