Sex In The Cloister

 Let's talk about sex. 

I won't get into why I bring this subject up other than there was a rather heated exchange regarding overpopulation and what to do about it. 

I say, do nothing. What exactly can you do, and yes, I realize global warming is due to people making a mess and not cleaning up after themselves.

So, is the problem too many people, or just too many people who don't give a rat's ass about Mother Earth? I choose the latter. 

Seems I'm getting into it. People do what they want to do. They will procreate because it's mostly a good thing. No condom? That's the woman's problem. No birth control? Thoughts and prayers.

People are not going to stop having sex.

I know all about sex. According to my one day tutorial in eighth grade at St. Joseph I learned everything I needed to know, which was, "Don't do it. Don't ever, ever do it."

Strangely, the Sisters of No Mercy hightailed it that day and left the only male teacher to educate the boys, while a female teacher took the girls into another section of the school, away from any nosey males, to show us a 3' by 5' image of a woman's uterus. She pointed out various blobs and tubes, then mentioned something about taking baths during that special time. It was quite confusing. I had an inkling of what sex actually involved, having been informed by my thirteen year old neighbor. Per her hand gestures and giggles I was thoroughly sickened and shocked and curious about the whole shenanigans.

Our session with the uterus ended and we were handed a bag which contained some sanitary pads.

Then we were sent into a room where the red faced boys were already waiting for another lesson about sex. Mr. C. cleared his throat and said, "I am going to show some graphic images. If any of you girls would like to leave, you may do so, now." Apparently, the boys didn't get a choice. 

All the girls got up and left, except for one. Yeah.

Lights off. Images up. One photo after another of people who had dared to have sex out of marriage who had gotten infected with a venereal disease. There was pus and open sores and ugly things and it was gross, yet fascinating. I noticed the boys squirming in their seats, most likely embarrassed because I was in the room. Otherwise, I think they would have snickered and made vulgar hand gestures. Catholic boys were dickheads.

So, what was the message? Don't do it. Do not even think about doing it.

We did it.

Do you remember the commercial with the insane girl who was banging a pot in the kitchen as she screamed?

The message? Don't do drugs.

We did drugs. We had sex. We drove high. We tossed plastic bottles. We had babies. 

Not right then, of course, but eventually, because we're human. 

Mother Earth tries her best to unalive us every day and we do the same to her. It's not nice. It's quite horrible, but, here we are. 

*I'm pretty sure there was no popcorn.