Oh, Sleep, You Have Left Me

 


 I am lying on my back just dozing off when I hear someone trying to get into my apartment. I try to sit up but I cannot move. I feel my heart racing and my brain is screaming, "Get up! Move!" I hear the door slowly opening and someone walking towards my bedroom. My eyes are open because I can see the moon shining through my window and yet I am unable to use my limbs, until finally I break loose. I listen and wait. I soon begin to understand I was in a state of sleep paralysis.

 If you have never suffered from this symptom, you are truly fortunate. I've had a few nightmares in my life but this is different. You can react during a nightmare. With sleep paralysis there is nothing you can do until your brain releases you from it's hold.

 There are a few factors for sleep paralysis, one being stress. Since this incident occurred recently, after the orange man entered our lives, I would assume he's to blame. 

 Other factors are caffeine, illness, or a disrupted sleep patterns. Yes, to the sleep changes. I usually do not fall asleep until 2 or 3 am, then I wake up around 6:30. I lie in bed and try to sleep to no avail. So then I go online to see what fresh hell we are in for today.

 I did suffer from sleep paralysis many years before and I'm certain that was because I was fighting an infection. Again, I'm laying on my back when someone wearing a dark cloak enters my bedroom. I cannot move or yell as he moves closer, then he stands at the side of my bed. It's terrifying because it feels so real.

It's strange because people who have had sleep paralysis describe nearly the same experience. A menacing, hooded presence.

Why brain? Why not a fairy godmother in pink tulle who brings flowers and light? 

If only my recent encounter was a one time deal.

It was not.

 A week later, this time I was lying on my side when the hooded being kneeled beside my bed. She raised her arm and started waving it slowly over my body as she spoke. I don't remember what she was saying but it didn't sound threatening. It sounded like she was talking to someone else in the room. I could feel the vibration of her hand as she passed it over me. It took longer this time to break free and I'm sure I yelled out. It took hours for me to give in to sleep. 

 It has been over a month now with no other visits. I try not to stress out. I drink less caffeine and I go to bed around the same time to try to retrain my brain. Unfortunately, I don't fall under until 3 and I still wake up around 6:30.

 I see no solution other than waiting it out. Sleep was my only solace, my escape from this dystopian nightmare. Now it's a duel between the hooded bogeymen and the Cheeto faced fascist. 

I'm rooting for the bogeymen.

Comments

Anonymous said…
YIKES!!

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