Trump Helping the Farmers Any Day Now



Local reporter: "I'm here in rural Ohio talking to Mr. John Johnson, a dairy farmer who will be impacted by the president's tariffs. Mr. Johnson, thank you for taking time out to speak with us. In your own words, tell us why you voted for Donald Trump."

Johnson: "Cause I don't want no colored in the White House, unless they're cleaning the rooms. It's called the White House fer a reason. I certainly weren't gonna vote fer a woman. What a dumb question. Next."

Local reporter: Even now knowing how the tariffs affect you? You said you might have to sell the cattle and move in with your, as you called her, "liberal ass sister," in Illinois."

Johnson: "It's that Musk feller creatin' this mess. Any day now Mr. Trump is gonna tell him to take a hike. He won't let us down. It's them brown folks he's gonna send back. I had a few workin' for me. Darn good workers. Didn't complain about sleeping in the barn with Nellie and the girls. But, ya can't just waltz in here and expect a hand out."

Local reporter: Don't you rely on subsidies from the government? Isn't that how you've managed to survive..?

Johnson: "YOU CALLIN' ME A SOCIALIST COMMIE!?" I earn my keep! If the government wanna pay me incentive to help them feed some poor kids that ain't had three squares that's their business. I'm a business man just like Mr. Trump. That Camel-ah don't know nothing about farmers. She comes from nancy town and thinks she's white cause she married one of us."

Local reporter: "President Trump knows nothing about farming either..."

Johnson: "You shut up about number 47! He's gonna help us out. Any day now. Any day now."

Mrs. John Johnson: "Johnny, bank's on the phone. They said someone's coming out..."

John Johnson: "Dang bur burrocrats, frickety frackin', I ain't got time for this. You tell them blue cryin' snowflakes we won! We won! Now get off my property."

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