Mattress Day in 'merica



 Jefferson: "Ah, gentlemen, it's Mattress Day once again. We should be so honored."

Washington: "At least they remember us, Thomas. Government employees get the day off as well as the children, who are dumber than a box of rocks."

Franklin: "Don't be too harsh, George, they've had a few rough years. Another day away from the maths won't hurt. Besides, the current president is considering abolishing education altogether."

Jefferson: "I don't believe he intends to throw away the babies with the bathwater, Benjamin. Changes certainly are needed, wouldn't you agree?"

Washington: "Perhaps, perhaps. Historians will record their deeds as they have done with us, the mattress kings."

Franklin: "I believe I've been treated quite well even though I cannot be included in the small men's club, George. The lame story of you chopping down the cherry tree has finally been laid to rest. Who started that rumor, anyway?"

Washington: "Hamilton, of course. There certainly have been some good men and not so good men in our circle. (((Glances towards Jefferson)))

(((Crickets chirp)))

Franklin: "Yes, well, I'm sure each and every one of them had honorable intentions to serve the people and had absolutely no personal motive to be a mattress king."

(((Laughter)))

Jefferson: "I think Sally would like a new mattress. Her straw pallet has been getting some use, lately..."

Franklin: "Tut, tut, none of that, Thomas. America has come a long way since our days of narrow minded mentality. Why a black woman nearly made the club. That's quite an accomplishment, don't you think, sirs?"

(((Awkward silence)))

Washington: "It seems there is more work to be done in that area. I didn't cross an ocean to lie down and give up. I didn't cross the Delaware to let a mad man rule with chains!"

Jefferson: "Hear, hear, sir. Although one should never stand in a boat on a river in December."

Washington: "Truer words were were never spoken. Martha refused to make ice cream for me for days afterwards."

Franklin: "I'm afraid I must leave you gentlemen. I am in the process of coding a new intelligence  system for the Pentagon."

Washington: " I am going to sneak into Lincoln's bedroom and take a nap."

Jefferson: " Now there's a mattress which needs changing. Fare thee well my friends. Do not despair."

Washington: "Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light." (Real quote)

Franklin: "Well said, George."

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