It's The Donald Trump Show!

 


Announcer: "It's the Donald Trump show! (((Applause))) Today's special guest is Prime Minister, Sanae Takaichi, all the way from Japan! (((Applause)))

PM Takaichi: "It is a great pleasure to be here with you, Mr. President. Today we sit in these lovely chairs. You will not get away this time, Mr. President." (((Laughter))) 

Trump: "So, you gonna help us or what, Miss Takawaka?" (((Huge Roar of Laughter)))

Takaichi: "We did not know our help was needed. We were not informed of your plans to bomb Iran."

Trump: "Hey, I didn't know myself until Bibi interrupted my mid-day nap! (((Applause))) 

Reporter: "No one was aware of your plans, Mr. President."

Trump: "It was a surprise! Japan knows all about surprises. (((Gasps))) Why didn't you tell us about Pearl Harbor? That was some surprise there. You guys are good, very good. No one saw that coming. You Japs are great. I love Jackie Chan. He's hilarious. You should be proud of him. We could use him right now." 

Reporter: " Jackie Chan is Chinese."

Trump: "Oh, well, Chiina. I remember Chiina. That's where the Chiina virus came from. Chiina. Well, I have to go talk to Vlad. (((Laughter and applause))) Ya gonna help us or not?"

Eric Trump: "Oh my God, Daddy, you're so funny! What a fantastic response. I love you, Da..."

Trump: "Where's my favorite boy, Charlie? Who are you? Get me a hamburger, will ya? Ya wanna a Big Mac, Miss Wakawaka? Sorry, no rice. You eat with your fingers, like this (((slurpslopsloppyslurp))) Where ya going? Ya gonna help me out? Yeah, I don't need ya. Hey, you, what's your name? Erin, Alex... I think I pooped my pants." (((Laughter))))

*Sadly, some of this is true. 

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