Exploding Head Syndrome

 


I'm not a hypochondriac but I wonder why I haven't had this disease, or, maybe I have...

It's called EHS. Exploding Head Syndrome. You're never too old to be gobsmacked by information - life hurdles that are absolutely bonkers. And this one has been around. Descartes mentioned it back in the 1600's. So, what exactly is the exploding head syndrome? It usually happens right as we go into sleep mode, awake but nearly entering dreamland. (Isn't that also the time we free fall as well? No mention of that) This is about noises, very loud and scary noises, like someone banging on your door, a bomb going off, perhaps a marching band... This exploding head syndrome usually accompanies other factors like stress, insomnia, head colds. College students are more susceptible because their sleep pattern has changed and they are stressed. Women and old people also suffer more as well. As if we don't have enough shit to deal with.

I am the perfect subject for this syndrome and should expect the Mariachi band any night now. I have all the requisite symptoms for EHS. And thinking back to an incident last year, it's possible that noise I heard was EHS. ~~~~~~~~~~ 😵‍💫😴🫨🤯

As I finally started to fall asleep, I heard a loud bang, as if there had been a car accident. Since I live near a main road, this would not have been unusual. I sat up and actually called 911 to let them know. The dispatcher I talked to was absolutely super. How he knew nothing was happening in the area is beyond me. Maybe they have cameras, I don't know. It's possible he sensed I was half asleep. He was very kind and I was (later) mortified taking up precious time with the sounds in my head. I now wonder if I dreamed the call? This is all too much to comprehend. Anxiety is my middle name. I can't be sure of the exploding sounds but I did mention the other phenomenon, ITFS. Icky Touchy Feely Syndrome, where I am sleeping but wake up paralyzed as someone crouches next to me, putting their hands near me. I can recall three instances where that happened and it's absolutely terrifying. In most cases EHS, is harmless. Once the underlying factor such as lack of sleep or the cold goes away, the tambourine playing monkeys also leave. With my luck, I'll be just falling asleep and I'll hear pots banging and car horns honking and chalk it up to EHS when in reality the world is celebrating a certain exodus from a certain orange cretin. 

So now I have another piece of information to file in my brain which means something has to go. If that dumb Coldplay song would exit that would be nice. 

Comments

ex-ferrer said…
DAMN. I may have this! For me, just before I fall asleep, there is a loud sound I compare to the snapping of a large, fat rubberband in my head. It's definitely a snap, not an explosion. No pain at all. I've long since gotten used to it. Perhaps it's my brain closing down after a long day of thinking and opening up the entertaining Ferrerman with whacky dreams portion of the show.
March 22, 2026 at 9:23 AM
Maggie said…
Wow! I think you do.
March 22, 2026 at 9:34 AM
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