A Woman Pretending To Be A Man Pretending...

 

In the early 2000's, Nora Vincent disguised herself as a man for an entire year and eventually wrote about her experience in a book I'm sure was quite interesting. I don't know. I haven't read it. However, I did watch a woman (brought to my attention by Ferrerman) who explains to us why Vincent's book was so spot on and that men are so very, very misunderstood and treated like shit throughout their lives. Before I write about how I feel about this video I want to go back to Vincent's experiment. It's not a new phenomenon, where someone pretends to be someone else to try and get insight about their lives and struggles. I remember a reporter going around in a fat suit and witnessing how fat people are viewed by others. But here's the thing I ponder... Why don't people believe actually fat people? Why don't people believe men when they say they have it rough? Why don't people believe women who were raped and trafficked? It's odd. Oh, let's not forget the book, 'Black like me.' I did read it back in the day when I was young and vulnerable. Today, I ask the same question? Why couldn't we believe millions of American black citizens instead of a white guy who wore blackface and lived amongst the African American community until he could wipe off his facade and be a white man again? 

So again, I can't give my opinion regarding Vincent's book, but only my reaction to this video where Laurin Ponce interprets what Vincent came away with after her year as a man. Phew...

Let's begin with problem number one- asking the woman out on a date, or even just approaching a woman, is like walking onto a mind field. You might get lucky, but usually you get blown off. Listen to the song, 'Creep.' It's awesome and explains a man's dilemma. Okay, seriously now, I am sympathetic to this social construct that I'm assuming was started by a man and back in the day, you didn't get the eye rolls and the titters after asking the lady to accompany you on the porch for a quiet evening. I have never asked a man out and have rejected plenty. I get it, but as Dylan sings, 'Things have changed.' A little bit. Now humans go online and look for dates. It's safer and not so hard on a man's ego. Hey, who's willing to do an experiment!? How about an average looking woman get out there and ask men for a date. Brilliant! And you know what's going to happen - she'll be declined, denied, laughed at, put down, joked about, get the eye roll and so on... 

Next-the emotional straightjacket. I think she's saying woman really don't want a sensitive guy. We want the guy who hates cats and is willing to shoot them in the head and not get too emotional. Bull shit. I am glad men are able to show their emotions. They can cry in public. They can snuggle with their cats. They can be human. There's a difference between being sensitive and being an emotional whore. I can't stand women who cry cry cry. Who wants to live with that!? It's all in the context, lady. And yes, it feels good to have a strong man to lean on. We can cry together if needed. Men are/were raised to wear the straightjacket. Stop blaming women for that.

Moving on- Unless you have money and are very attractive, you are invisible. Lol. Lol. Lol. Who ya gonna look at first, Sidney Sweeney with her massive boobs and blonde hair, or Rachel Maddow with her brown bob, glasses and flat chest? One of them is full of interesting thoughts and ideas and one is a blank space. So don't even go there with that garbage. Humans are attracted to pretty things. It's called instinct. Sure, you have your Melania's and Karoline's and Erika's, but take a look around you. There's a lot of love going on with some very average looking people who live average lives. This idea is really aggravating. I'm curious how Vincent actually came to this conclusion - if she even did. I'm giving an interpretation of an interpretation. 

The penultimate - Men compete with each other. Yeah, not my problem. 

And lastly - Men suffer in silence. No, they just use other means to get their point across besides verbal language. I'm not really sure what this means and can only go by what this insufferable woman(Ponce) is implying. Men definitely like to be heard. That's why they go into schools and shoot children. Oh right, that a woman's fault. We don't listen to them. How many movies have y'all watched where the woman asks the guy to open up, talk. Let's talk. Say something! Not about your favorite sports team. Not about your fucking car. Not about beating Fred at bowling. Unless the woman finds these topics interesting, she's going to shut down, just like you will if she discusses shoes, diets and yes, this is becoming a stereotypical defense. The point is, we all have different things that interest us, stuff that makes us individuals. I think we all want to know the deeper stuff like, "Do you like children? What about animals? Religion? Politics? Music, movies... 

All of the above issues were made by man. At the beginning of this video, the woman, Laurin Ponce, insinuates that Vincent went into a deep depression and eventually committed suicide due to her one year experiment. Ponce is a life coach, in other words, a made up job where she can help you to help yourself to help others. Vincent had a lot of health issues. The implication that she was so distraught by her one year as a man and what they endure is almost laughable. Again, this is Ponces' take. 

My take on Ponces' take- She's full of shit. Of course she has to create content for her made up job. Everything she says is mumbo jumbo bullshit, pseudoscience jibber jabber. I'm guessing she has a huge following because she says everything with a strong conviction and posturing. She's very attractive, so we look. Then we listen, and most of us realize what's going on here. She's trying to make a living spouting half truths, underlying issues and in reality makes it all a joke which does the exact opposite of what she probably intended which is men have issues. Did we really need a woman to go under cover and cosplay as a man to reveal some real problems? Did we really need a reporter to wear a fat suit to see what it's like to live in a judgmental society? Did we really need a list to prove to the world what dozens of women have been saying all along? Ponce brings up some genuine societal issues, wrapped in mumbo jumbo which infuriates me. More so because she's a woman who is speaking for men through the writing of another woman. 

I don't plan on reading Vincent's book. It's ridiculous. It was and is an interesting hook with zero substance. How about we listen to people who experience these struggles in their real lives? What a concept, eh?

*Julie Andrews