Black Friday

I won't be shopping on Black Friday because I have no money and I got a peek at what was on sale and had zero interest in buying a 55" television or a laptop. The last time I went out to shop on the day after Turkey Day was years ago when I went into Chicago by train and regretted every damn second. People everywhere. I felt like a sardine in a greased tin. It was like riding a wave of desperate humanity as I was being swept along. It was rather terrifying, especially for this introvert. It didn't really seem to matter because no one noticed me- no one noticed anyone. It was walk walk walk, sometimes someone would be sucked into a store to be replaced by someone being ejected. The only money I remember spending was buying a homeless guy a cup of coffee. I also bought lunch for a woman and her three children, who said they were hungry, and were conviently standing in front of a Subway sandwich shop.

I saw no deals. I did walk into a fancy schmancy store and was completely ignored. It was the kind of store where the merchandise is stored in the back and the staff look like mannequins. I stared at a woman for three minutes waiting for her to blink. I love the city but not when it's so packed I can't even enjoy the river or the gorgeous architecture. I know I did a lot of walking starting from the Olgilvie train station to the lake, the Bean, Navy Pier and back around. I started climbing some stairs to gahd knows where when I heard a woman ask if I could help her down. She was dressed in a really nice coat and wore a beautiful plum colored hat. I replied, "Sure, I can help you down the stairs." She looked at me as if I had three heads. Then she yelled, "I axed for a dollar!" Geez, getting reamed by a bag lady. I was done with the city so I started heading back to the station. As I tried to find a quiet place to sit for awhile I felt a stabbing pain in the arch of my foot. Getting a cab was impossible and this was before Uber. Riding a bus was never going to happen. I'm not one to go with the flow. I need to know exactly where I'm going. I once naively explored when I was a newbie to the city. A mail carrier was walking by and said, "Do you know you're standing in front of the house where Richard Speck killed them nurses? It ain't safe here!" Taking a cab was a tricky situation because the drivers were insane. I once had a creepy driver who looked like Jackie Earle Haley, follow me into Union Station and ask me to show him my waist. Then he proceeded to recite a bit of poetry. It was much nicer than RFK Jr's sonnet but nevertheless I told him to move along. He did. 

Anyway, I'm not sure how successful the Black Friday boycott will be. People like deals, even when they aren't really deals. Unlike me, humans love the action, the thrill of mingling with like minded social butterflies.

 Getting home that day years ago was a nightmare. The train was packed with drunks, tired shoppers and screaming children. I was continuously bonked on the head by bags loaded with shoe boxes. Then I had to walk/slide home. Home, sweet home, but not before sidestepping the late night creatures who were looking for some leftover turkey in the trash bins.

I'll be home this Friday cleaning up after the turkey debacle, sitting in my easy chair and eating leftovers as the world goes black.