The Company Christmas Party

 

I have a feeling there will be a few office Christmas parties this Friday. We usually had ours on the very last day before we closed shop for two whole weeks. Before we moved to our new building the party was held in the shipping and receiving area in the back of the building. Sometimes the owner's wife would show up, but usually it was just the usual machine shop guys and management. I waffled back and forth depending on what needed to be done. There was a new employee, a woman, who started working the CNC machines, just doing basic, repetitive work and watching the machines. She got along pretty well with the guys and would find time to stop by and gossip about what was going on in the company. Honestly, I didn't care that Ron was an alcoholic who came in every morning with a hangover. I didn't care that Steve hadn't washed his coffee cup in five years, or that our manager was going out with a fruit eater (she only ate raw fruit) Ok, maybe I cared a little bit. Usually I did my job and went home. This woman, let's call her Donna, kept insisting I go out and have a drink with her. She wouldn't stop until I finally relented, so after work one hot summer day we sat in a bar with no a/c and drank beer while sweat ran down my back. She told me she used to tend bar until she had to go into hiding because she had angered a biker from hell. So basically she was on the run. Sweat ran down my face as she shared her vast knowledge of the bartending industry. I did find it interesting that children were allowed to drink in the state of Wisconsin if accompanied by their parents. She went on and on, and I was in serious trouble because I was soaked and even though I wanted to leave I was pretty sure the back of my pants were wet. She was completely oblivious to my discomfort until finally I told her I had to go. She asked why. Fuck, I'm no good with on the fly responses, especially when all I could think about was how to back out of the bar without looking weird. I told her I had to take my cat to the vet. Fuck. I didn't have a cat. She said we'll do this again and I slowly got up. The sweat was actually running down my legs as I walked sideways, trying to look casual. I was mortified, but eventually shrugged it off, until Monday morning when I saw the looks and snickers. Damn Donna. Well clearly we were not going to anymore bars or anywhere for that matter. As the months passed and Doris started bringing out the Christmas decorations, Donna was starting to become a problem. She would miss days from work because she claimed her feet hurt from standing all day, although, there was stools scattered about where the machinists could sit. She was becoming especially chummy with some of the guys and even with our manager who joined them as they all snuck out to smoke. 

Finally, Christmas Eve had arrived and we worked half a day then headed to the shipping area where Doris had done her best to hide pallets of oily machine parts and a giant boat. Ok, she couldn't hide the owner's boat which he stored in the shop for winter, but it was still a festive atmosphere. As Doris and I talked, the machinists strolled in and took their seats. The owner gave a speech, then one of the machinists stood up and told one of the raunchiest jokes I've ever heard as the others giggled. Then the manager started to speak. He was always a talkative guy but something was off here. He grinned and laughed and even giggled as Donna was nearly on the floor, laughing. It took me a long time to realize they were high. All of them- and Donna had supplied the weed. Our boss sat in silence, playing with the food on his plate as the Christmas high club ate with gusto between laughter. Doris was still suffering from the effects of the dirty joke, although I'm sure she had no idea they were somewhat incapacitated. We were allowed to leave anytime after the meal, and leave I did after I thanked our very red faced boss. 

Two weeks later, glad to be back, I entered the shop. The machinists began to straggle in, but no Donna. Her name was never mentioned and oddly, no one else was fired. It did get a little boring after that but there was no more back door rendezvous.

A few months later, when Spring was in the air, I stopped by a yard sale and there was Donna. She was not the same talkative gossip as before. In fact, she ignored me, until I said hello. I asked how she was doing and she said she was back bartending. She didn't ask me if I wanted to stop by and I was relieved when she finally left. 

So remember, kids, be on your best behavior or someone years later will write about you. 

*AI did not disappoint with the images. It's just like I remember.