A Distopian Society

 

Walking into the building made my heart palpitate. I sat among a few young mothers who were holding babies and trying to rein in rambunctious and bored toddlers. There were elderly people who walked with canes or sat in wheelchairs, waiting for their names to be called. Here I was, a healthy young woman sitting here feeling like a fraud and worst of all, a leech. I was applying for food stamps. I was one of the working poor. Since the age of sixteen I worked. After my divorce and child support being spotty at best, I took a job where I could be home when my daughter got home from school. It paid minimum wage and the hours were never the same. Some days I'd work eight hours, others, five. There was never enough food to feed the both of us. There were times I took food from my parent's refrigerator. Both were retired and living on a fixed income and I was stealing food from them. The last meal I made, of noodles and butter, finally made me accept the reality that I had to apply. So here I sat amongst crying babies and frustrated, overwhelmed everyone. Several times I wanted to walk out but I couldn't move. I wanted to crawl under a chair, even though we were all here for the same reason. As I looked towards the exit, I heard a shout, then a woman started crying. She was holding the hand of a little girl and in her other hand she waved papers in the employees face. She had been denied benefits. She continued to wail and ask how she was going to feed her child as the room of the desperate ignored her. Eventually she turned away, still crying. I heard my name called and moved to a desk which was set amongst a long row of employees - the assembly line. The woman was brusk and never looked at me. She asked questions. I answered. All this humiliation for $50 a month. I was reminded every other week that I was a loser when I had to make the mandatory call to an automated voice. "Are you working?" "Have your circumstances changed?" 

I did this for six months until I found another job which had regular hours and paid more. I was grateful for that extra $50, but it was a humiliating experience. No one should go hungry in this country. No one should have to be deemed less than when needing help. It is the absolute gall of people in this administration who dare to wear gold crosses and pray in a public building while they deny anyone a decent meal. I don't understand it. I just cannot comprehend the lack of empathy or compassion. 

When this regime is done, and it will be. This will be their legacy. This is what people will remember.

* Later that day .. Mike Johnson said voting on a stand alone bill to feed children is, " A waste of our time." Remember that.

**Kudos to everyone who is donating food and money to food banks. You are beautiful.